In Too Deep

Chapter 4

Erin offered to drive them to the rehab, and he thought about declining, and pushing her away; not wanting her to get anymore involved, but she was already a part of this.

"That'd be great, thanks." He says, his voice quiet again, before he goes to pack the few things he, and Mouse have into their own duffel bags.

Jay, and Erin help Mouse down to her car, and sit him in the back seat. Jay hops into the passenger seat, as Erin pulls up the address on her phone.

"So what made you change your mind?" Erin asks after driving for a few minutes.

"This isn't the first time he's gotten like this, but this is probably the worst. And I feel like I'm responsible for this, I pushed him to this." He says, looking back at his friend in the back seat. Erin pulls over to the side of the road, and parks the car. Jay looks around confused, before meeting her eyes.

"You're doing the right thing, getting help for both of you is the right thing, and you'll both get through this together." She says, and he nods, before looking out the window beside him, and she looks at Greg, and then Jay, before shifting the car back into drive.

When they get there, Erin puts the car in park again, and turns it off, before going to unbuckle her seatbelt, but Jay stills her like he did early at the bar. The feeling of their skin touching, does something to both of them, but they both pull their hands away as if they were just burned.

"I uh, maybe you should just drop us off here." Jay says, and Erin looks at him confused.

"Are you sure?" She asks him.

"Yeah, thanks." He says

"For everything." He adds.

"Look Jay, I may not know you, or anything that you've been through, but if you need me for anything, just call." She says, and he nods once again, before getting out of the car. He helps his friend out of the back seat, and grabs the duffel bags with his free hand; closing the door with his foot, and walking up to the large hospital building. Erin waits until she sees them walk inside to turn the car back on, and as she's driving away she sees Jay give her a half smile, and a nod of his head as he helps Greg into a wheelchair.

XXXXXX

He takes it day by day, telling himself it'll get better, but by the fourth day he just needs a drink. He thought that the rehab would help, but it's only making it worse. So he leaves, sneaking out at dinner. He goes to this place called Molly's, and sits down at the bar, and anxiously waits to order a glass of amber liquid.

When the silver haired man behind the bar, gets to him, Jay orders two glasses of whiskey.

He's not sure how many he has, before he hears a voice that has become somewhat familiar. A raspy, but beautiful voice says his name, and has him spinning around in the stool.

"Erin?" He says

"What are you doing here?" She asks

"I just needed a drink, so I walked over." He answers with a shrug.

"Erin you know this clown?" A dark haired, blue eyed guy, dressed in a grey firefighter shirt, and jeans says as he walks to stand next to her. Jay lets out a scuff, and the guy next to Erin raises his eyebrow at him.

"You got something to say?" The guy standing across from Jay says, and Erin mumbles something, but Jay can't hear her. He spins back around, and pays his tab, before he stands up.

"Nah, I was actually just leaving." Jay says, giving the fireman a delayed response, as he brushes shoulders with him.

"Kelly don't." Jay hears Erin desperately say, just before he feels a hand on his shoulder. Jay turns around, and a fist immediately connects with his jaw, he rubs his hand over the slight stubble on his jawline, as he stands up straight, and swings at the fireman; hitting him twice, then three times. Jay hears Erin call out the fireman's name a few times, before she says Jay with a please after it. He doesn't know why, but something about the way she says his name has him calming down, and stepping back, just as some other guys come to hold the fireman back. Jay turns to walk out of the bar again, but this time no one stops him. He walks back the way he came, but he only gets about block away before he hears her calling his name again.

"Jay." She says, but he ignores her.

"Jay, I know you can hear me." She says frustrated.

"What do you want from me Erin?" He snaps, as he looks at her. He can tell she's really thinking,

"I want to help." She says.

"You've helped enough." He yells, and she parks her car, and runs over to him.

"Jay, what were you doing there?"

"Isn't that quite obvious?" He says, and she rolls her eyes.

"Then why even go to the rehab, if you were just going to give up after a few days?"

"I just needed a quick fix." He answers

"And how is that going to help?"

"Why are you following me, don't you have a boyfriend who's boo boos you should be kissing better?"

"He's not my boyfriend." She says. 'Good cause you deserve better.' He thinks to himself, missing what she said next.

"Hello?"

"Sorry I wasn't listening." He says honestly

"Where are you going now?"

"Back to the rehab".

"I'll drive you." She says, and he stops walking then. He turns his body towards her, and puts his hands on her shoulders.

"I get that you're a cop, and you want to make the world a better place, and all, but I don't need your help." He says calmly, and he can see that his words both anger her, and make her sad.

"Right." She says, looking down.

"I uh, I'm sorry. Goodbye Jay." She says sadly, before walking back to her car. He watches as she climbs into her car, and drives off. He walks back to the rehab, feeling awful, and he's not sure if it's the alcohol in his system, or regret of pushing her away. 'Its better this way, she's better off.' He says quietly to himself as he looks back in the direction he just walked from, and waits for the doors to be unlocked. Once inside, he sulks back to his room, ignoring the questions, and comments of the night staff at the rehab. He lays down on the small, uncomfortable bed, and just stares at the ceiling, still thinking of Erin.