Don't Write Like Me

Writing Workshop: Sentence Lengths

Your sentences affect your story's mood. They affect your story's pace. They control your reader. (You, the reader, paused once in this sentence. You won't pause at all in this sentence.)

Use this power to tell your story.

Short Sentences:

Short sentences are for dramatic affect. They are good for action, surprise, irony, and suspense. Use short sentences for action scenes, for dramatic scenes, and for important inner thoughts.

On the other hand, short sentences are the most work for the reader. Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Readers get tired easily from these, so use them where they belong, or they'll just cause frustration.

Example:

He was a giant with a strong firm jaw, dead eyes, and a bloodied sword in his hand.

Change: 

He was a giant. His jaw was firm, his eyes dead. There was a bloodied sword in his hand.

Your turn. 

Change this long sentence to a short one for dramatic affect.

There was a man across the street, wearing black jeans and a red hoodie. I couldn't see his face, but I knew he was the one who had come to collect me.

Long Sentences:

Long sentences are for descriptions, streams of thoughts, or reflections. They make the pace slow and gentle. They set up place, time, and opinion.

The danger of long sentences is that it's easy to get lost in them. Don't create a sentence so long that it misses the point. Don't string together too many long sentences or your reader will fall asleep.

Example:

All the other acrobats were jealous. Her long legs stretched like a cat. Her balance was like a feather on water.

Change:

She was the envy of every acrobat, with long legs that stretched like a cat, and the delicate balance of a feather sitting on water.

The first paragraph is good for drama, for someone who doesn't like this girl. The second paragraph is for someone who has strong affections or admiration for her.

Your Turn

Change these short sentences to longer ones to change the mood.

He never asked for money. He refused any handouts. He said he wanted to prove himself. Even if it cost him everything.

Medium Sentences:

Medium sentences are the salt and pepper of your scene. They bring out the flavors of the short and long sentences. You shouldn't cook without salt and pepper - you shouldn't write scenes without medium length sentences.

Example:

The kid in front of his desk beamed a warm smile and bowed his head in respect. Ashley could all ready tell that he didn't like the kid. He was too clean. Too happy. Too zealous. It was a relief to think that after a few months of this job, all that nonsense would be beaten out of him, and he would be a bitter police officer who lost faith in humanity like the rest of them.

Medium, medium, short, short, short, long. 

Medium for description. Short for Ashley's harsh feelings. Long for his internal reflection. 

And that's how you use the power of sentences. 

Your Turn

Take these two paragraphs, and change them to short, medium, and long sentences. 

#1

He always sat on the right side of the restaurant. The left side was too cold. He didn't like cold things. They reminded him of winter. Winter is when he saw her the most. They would eat pasta in front of the fireplace. They would talk about their future together. But winter is when she left. Winter was when she warmed his heart. And Winter was when it shattered into pieces. 

#2

He sat in his car, scarfing down the half-cooked sandwich he bought from the local store on Broadway. This must have been what it was like to be a police officer, waiting for the culprit to make his way onto the scene, so they could jump out of the car and arrest him. The only problem was that he wasn't a police officer, and this was technically stalking. He wasn't crazy or murderous, but he knew that his wife was keeping a secret from him, and he was pretty sure he knew who the secret was.  

Feel free to comment with your changes below. After all, this is a workshop! 

If you are going to comment on someone else's writing, I ask that you be respectful and encouraging. I expect you to do the same with your own writing as well. (AKA, no saying, "My writing sucks" when posting. If you wouldn't say it to someone else, don't say about yourself either. We're all practicing to get better.)