MG2018 - Ximen + Xiaoyou

Part 4

Damn that Daoming Si!  Ximen thought to himself as he wandered blindly around the mall, his rage bubbling deep inside him. From today onward, there is no more F4. Meizuo's words echoed in his mind. Was this really it? Years of friendship spiraling down the drain, over what? Over a girl? Over Daoming Si's broken heart? Who did he think he was to treat his friends this way, when they had been there for him countless times over the years?

Ximen pushed his way through a shop door. "Sorry, we're clo-- Ximen??" He stood by the doorway, not sure of where he was or what was happening. Xiaoyou rushed to him from behind the counter and held his arm. "What happened?" she demanded, but he didn't reply. He was heaving from anger. He felt Xiaoyou steer him to a table and she helped him sit down. He buried his face in his hands as she hurried to get him a glass of water, and she set it down in front of him. He felt her hand on his shoulder, and he banged his fists hard on the table. He saw her flinch visibly, but she didn't pull her hand away. He was shaking with rage and couldn't see clearly, when he felt her put both hands on either side of his face and turned him gently to face her. She took off his glasses gently and stared into his eyes. "Ximen. Tell me," she said softly, calmly. She kept her hands on his face and he found himself lost in her eyes, breathing deeply, until he felt the rage subside to a certain dullness. He was surprised to feel her thumb brushing against his cheeks; he didn't even feel the tears falling. "F4 is done," he managed to say, and his cheeks felt wet. He closed his eyes when he felt her pull him close, and he leaned his head against her shoulder. He couldn't stop himself from crying silent tears, a mixture of his pent-up anger, frustration, and sadness. He felt her holding him close to her, her arm around his shoulders, and he sagged against her. "I'm here," she murmured over and over as she stroked his face gently.

He had no idea how long they sat that way, but finally he felt spent. He took a deep breath before straightening up, and Xiaoyou looked at him with concern in her eyes. "How do you feel?" she asked. He shook his head resignedly. "Love sucks," he said bitterly, "Shancai is missing. Si is off the rails and throwing away our friendship. If love is such a beautiful thing, then why is everyone hurting?" She sighed. "They're hurting because they're afraid," she replied softly, "They're both afraid to fight for their love." He turned to her. "But why do they have to fight for it in the first place? If it's not wrong to love, why can't they just be together and live happily ever after? Why do they have to go through all this?" He had thought of these words for many years but this was the very first time he had ever said them aloud. He knew he was talking about Si and Shancai now, but he may as well have been talking about his parents.

Xiaoyou kept quiet and stared into the distance. She was quiet for so long, Ximen began to feel like he shouldn't have opened his mouth. What was all that he said about love anyway? How naive could he be? "Not all teas are sweet," she said suddenly, so soft he almost missed it. "Some teas have a bitter taste. But usually these are the ones that have a good effect on your body, like lowering your cholesterol or fighting cancer." She turned to him. "We bear with the bitter taste because we know that the end result is good. We're healed. We get well. We feel better," she said, "So I think it's the same with love. It goes hand in hand with pain. When you suffer through the pain, it makes the love all the more beautiful and meaningful. You just have to be strong and believe that there's a happy ending after all the suffering." He shook his head sadly, "That's not always the case, Xiaoyou. Sometimes there is no happy ending." She put her palm against his cheek, "Then that only means it's not the end yet." She took a deep breath and continued, "No matter what Si and Shancai are going through, I think they'll get through it together and they'll be happy in the end, as long as they both believe in their love." 

She stared into his eyes deeply. "Don't let other people's love stories stop you from believing in love, Ximen. You have the power to write your own story, and it can be beautiful," she said softly. Time seemed to slow down as she moved her head closer to his, and as if in a trance, he closed his eyes. "Let me show you how beautiful it can be," she whispered before her lips touched his. His blood rushed to his head as she kissed him softly, and he found himself tentatively responding to her kiss. "Don't be afraid to feel," she murmured, putting her hand against his chest, and he knew she could feel his heart racing, "It's okay to feel." He shut his eyes tightly as he felt as though the feelings he kept bottled up inside suddenly exploded inside him, rushing through him like water breaking through a dam. He let his feelings sweep him away as he pulled Xiaoyou close and deepened their kiss, and he felt her match his intensity. If only for tonight, he would give in because she was right. It was beautiful.