Welcome to the Family

Gone

Trisha stares out the window just above the kitchen sink. She can see the steam of the hot water in the sink, and can smell the strong scent of the soap. Apart of Trisha just wants to stare at the horizon until she can see him in the distance. She wants to sit around and wait for him.

As much as Trisha wants to, she can't hate him. Believe her, she's tried. She'd stare down their one - and possibly only - family picture. Trisha would bring forth as much rage and dread at that sad, dorky, four eyed man as she could find, but she could never once let her hate for him last longer than five seconds.

No. There is only one person she truly hates, and that person is herself. Why does she do this to herself? Why does she allow herself to be treated this way? He is not her first lover. Trisha has let others taken advantage of her kindness and innocence, and regrets it down to the bone. Trisha doesn't deserve to wait around for him when there is a huge possiblity he might not ever come back.

Trisha wanted to do last night's dishes in the morning to get her mind off him. The mornings are the hardest. Waking up in this beautiful country home with two gorgeous sons in the room down the hall leaves a wonderful feeling in her gut until she remembers one important factor; the other side of the bed is cold. Not matter how hard Trisha tells herself to just do the dishes, to stop thinking, she catches sight of the sunrise.

The sunrise reminds her of him. The soft yellow of his hair and eyes. The bright pink of his flustered face. The baby blue of every single one of his boxers. The light purple of of his favorite button up shirt.

Trisha has to muffle her sobs with her hand. She doesn't want her sons to see her sad. Ed - her little man - he would use every bit of his father's features to get the truth behind her sadness out of her. Once he figures out what is wrong, and he will because Ed is anything but stupid, he will hate him. Ed would hate him down to his bones. Trisha doesn't want Ed to live his life full of hate. He deserves as much as she does.

Then there is Al. Her baby. Their baby. Since there is a ten month age gape between her sons, Trisha knows Al won't remember him like Ed and her. Al is also a bit of a genius, but not as much as Ed. Ed taught Al everything he knows. Al won't see the signs and feel the absence before Ed. She doesn't want Al to think he's stupid for not seeing what he could never see. Al will fall into a never ending pit of self hate and depression.

... As one can tell, she's thought about this. A lot.

A lone, tall dark figure gets in the way of her view of the sunrise. Trisha snaps back into reality when the figure seems strikingly familiar. Very tall, broad shoulders, long, blonde hair reflecting the sun. The familiarity grips Trisha's heart in a fist, giving her organ painful squeezes. The beats of her suffering heart echo in her ears.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump, thump.

Thump, thump.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

Trisha fists the bust of her shirt in pain. She groans in agony. Her recently weak lungs stop working when the figure is close enough to see coherently.

It's him.

She abandons all sight of logic and reasoning. Trisha wants to be held by her husband again. She wants to call him by his name, and stop referring him as him. She wants Ed and Al to stop worrying about the three of them because the four of them are together again.

Trisha bursts out the front door without second thought of her children. He is home. Van is home. Van is home because they both know that the two of them deserve better. They deserve to stay together for as long as possible. They don't have to treat themselves like heartless monsters anymore.