Wolfsbane

Harassment, Thy Name be Marauder

            

I spent the following month avoiding Sirius as much as possible. Him and his friends in Gryffindor had become known as the troublemakers, and I was already in enough trouble with my family, I didn't need to pile school trouble on top of that. Whispers in the hall told of the 'Tales of the Marauders'. I wondered where they had gotten such a ridiculous name. What was worse, Sirius didn't seem to understand that I was avoiding him, and not the other way around. When he saw me, he'd turn the other way, potions was painful as he refused to speak to me. Yet whenever he caught me in the library, he was nothing but chatter, and it was impossible to escape. He'd make excuses for his behaviour. "You don't understand, the lads would be furious if they knew we were friends." I wanted to run up to the lads and tell them all about our secret, one sided friendship. Then I heard something that upset me beyond repair.

"Pads! Hurry up mate, or we'll be late for Charms!" I paused, and turned away from collecting my books off the work table in potions to see one of Sirius' friends, waving at him from the doorway. Sirius seemed to realize at the same time what had just happened.

"Yeah, alright. I'll be right there, I just have to help whats-her-face clean up. I'll catch up!" Sirius had a broad grin on his face until the boy disappeared out the door. I was shoving my things into my pockets, collecting my books as quickly as possible, when Sirius turned a deep frown on me.

"Phoenix, listen-"

"It's fine."

"Bu-"

"I said it's fine. You have real friends, I get it. Don't let me hold you up Pads. I can clean up on my own." He paused, a hand stretched towards me, as if any physical contact would make the situation better. His hand dropped and I finished wiping down the table before turning and briskly leaving the classroom, and Sirius, behind. The next three days were hell. Sirius ditched the Marauders whenever he could to pester me. I had tried to hide in the common room, but he had annoyed so many of my housemates with his loitering that I couldn't. I hadn't gone to the Black Lake, afraid that he would be persistent enough to find me in the only hiding spot I had left. I was sitting in the library, Lucius and Narcissa at the table with me as we studied. I looked up from my book to see Sirius skulking through the stacks nearby. Looking for an opening? Too bad.

"Hey Lucius, I'm tired. I know you guys aren't done yet, but would you walk with me back to the common room?" Lucius looked up from his work, quill hovering over his parchment. He gave me a quizzical look, before following my line of sight towards the shelf of books Sirius was pretending to look at. He looked at me a second time, and pity filled his eyes, along with a sort of warmth that I hadn't seen before.

"Sure, I can finish up in the common room. Are you alright on your own Narcissa?" She looked over and nodded, a smile on her face.

"Yeah, no worries. Thanks for the help Lucius, it means a lot." He nodded at her and began collecting his things. We left the library together, and when I checked behind us, Sirius had not followed. We walked silently until we got close to the common room, and then Lucius stopped walking suddenly.

"So, Sirius Black is harassing you?" I looked over, startled at the question. I couldn't do more than nod.

"If you need me to intervene Phoenix, just ask. I'll be more than happy to send the snivelling mutt on his way." I shuffled my feet, unsure if that was what I wanted. I wanted him to leave me alone, but I also wanted to be his friend. I couldn't understand my own feelings, and I was unsure of what it was I was doing.

"I just-I just need the space to breathe. I feel like I'm suffocating, and he won't leave me alone. We started off friendly, but after our meeting with Dumbledore at the end of last month, I can't stand to be around him, and at the same time, I still want to be friendly. Lucius, I'm so confused!"

"Then make the problem smaller first. Break it down. Like you do with everything in school. Make the problem seem less monumental, and work at it piece by piece, you taught me that." I could feel tears of frustration building behind my eyes, but I would be damned if I allowed Lucius to see me cry. I turned away from him and continued on my way towards the common room, not needing an escort anymore.

It seemed as though Sirius was as desperate as I thought he would be. I had been hiding near our old hideout when he found me one afternoon. I had just been minding my own business, trying to figure out what kind of backlash would be waiting for me when I got home for holidays, when he quietly literally, stumbled over me. He had gotten up and cursed before turning to realize it was not a root or stone he had tripped on, but a person.

"Phoenix! Great, just when I'm not looking for you is when I find you. What's with the cold shoulder recently?" I felt anger begin to bubble in my stomach, and I tried to rationalize there were more cons than pros of casting a few spells at him.

"I've been busy with other things. I have my own friends in Slytherin as much as you have yours in Gryffindor. I don't see the point in making an effort to maintain an already strained relationship, so I've been avoiding you. Or, have I not made that clear?" He blinked several times, and I knew that maybe I was finally getting something through his thick skull. Forget what the hat said about him being equal parts brave and stupid. He's just stupid.

"What do you mean strained? I thought things were fine!" I rolled my eyes before standing and dusting myself off. I made a point not to look at him as I started walking away

"Hey! Silver!" I stopped in my tracks, anger suddenly fueling my actions as I turned on my heel to snap at him.

"Don't call me that! You wanted to be friends with your lads instead of me, and you let them call you my nickname! So you don't get to call me that anymore." I turned to leave but his hand caught my wrist, and he tugged me towards him.

"Phoenix, just hold on a second!" I yanked so hard that his hand slipped and the both of us went crashing to the ground. My face hit the dirt, and I could taste blood as my teeth clamped down on my tongue. I spit a few times, my saliva pink and bubbly as I did so. I stood again and took several steps away, to keep him from grabbing me again.

"No. You made your choice Sirius Black, now you have to live with it. You chose your house over your friend, as should be expected, which is why I don't have a problem parting ways. Besides, whoever heard of a Slytherin and Gryffindor being friends? That sounds like the wind up to a bad joke too. Just-just leave me alone." I walked away. Sirius didn't follow.