Wolfsbane

Lupin, Thou Art too Kind

            

The following Friday, the last day before we would return home, I spent in the library. I wanted to remove myself from everything after my discovery of Lupin's secret. Severus had been correct in assuming that it had not been a patronus, but an animagus form the Marauders had chosen their names by. I had seen first-hand, and why, and now, I held a secret that was not mine. Elias had grilled me for over an hour once I had found my way back to the common room unseen. He had demanded to know what I was thinking, and if I had even thought about the risks. I eloquently told him to shove it. He proceeded to grill me about where I had disappeared to, about the werewolf, if I knew it, who it was, if I had found its pack. I dodged each question carefully, until he was satisfied with my vague answers. So I sat in one of the window nooks, twirling my wand around my fingers.

"Miss Wolfsbane." I turned my head at the utterance of my name, to see Lupin's face. He smiled kindly at me, and politely asked if he could sit with me. I nodded, though unsure of why he was being so friendly with me, when his friends, Sirius, had made it their mission to mess with me. Once he was settled, the both of us facing each other with our knees to our chests, feet touching, he let out a sigh.

"I don't even know where to begin." It was a statement that sounded completely hopeless. I knew then that he knew the wolf was me, or he had recognized my scent, or any other number of things. Of one thing I was positive, I needed to save him.

"Then don't. We could just sit Lupin." He cringed at my use of his surname, and I thought maybe it hadn't been my smartest move.

"I must. I don't usually remember very much, from my-strenuous-evenings, but one thing I can always recall very clearly is scents. Animagi have a slightly different scent when there are in that form to when they are in their human form, but I can always tell. Your scent, I can recognize it from more than just class, and it's-calming. I can always associate a smell with an emotion, and yours is calming. Why? Why is it so familiar, besides the obvious, and why is it so calming?" His pale green eyes swam with confusion and warmth as he waited for a response. His facial features were both tight, and relaxed, and his lips quivered at the edges, as if he were about to burst out sobbing. I would comfort him in an instant if he did. I took a deep breath and averted my eyes, unsure if I should give him the truth. He'll run and tell his Marauders, and then Sirius and Potter will really have it in for me. But I can't lie, not to someone as sweet as Remus Lupin.

"I was there. I-I was out for a run, when I ran into you. I didn't know it was you, until after I managed to return you to your pack, and heard you say Padfoot. I knew immediately who all of you were. I can only hazard a guess as to why you associate my scent with a calm feeling, but I think it's because I helped you when you were lost, you-or-I don't know how you want me to say it, but when you were like that, you pressed your nose to mine after I said I would help you. I don't know much about animals, so I don't know if that means anything to you, but it's what happened." Remus' features tightened in concentration as I explained, and then his brows furrowed together, before hiking up his forehead. I wondered what kind of emotional rollercoaster I had put him on, and whether he would be okay once he got off. After a few moments of silence, Remus leaned forward and wrapped his arms around me tightly. I could do nothing but accept it, or endure it, and I decided that he probably needed the comfort. His breath puffed warmly against my neck, and I could feel his intakes of breath just as clearly. Inhaling whatever unique smell I had, and taking comfort in it. After another moment he slowly released me, and he had a bright look in his eyes.

"Thank you. None of the lads would tell me anything from-well. I knew I needed to find the scent that had been rattling around my head if I wanted answers. I found it. Miss Wolfsbane, may I call you Phoenix?" I laughed at how polite he was being, and I thought the sound might have lifted his spirits more.