The Hunger Games Katniss Everdeen Blogs

Katniss, the Girl Who Is no Longer on Fire

If I could only go back in time for a few minutes, everything might be alright. By now, all twenty-four tributes have finished their presentations of skills to the Gamemakers. I had thought that it would be so simple for me to show the Gamemakers that I have a chance of doing well in the Hunger Games. I imagined that all I would have to do would be to pick up one of the countless types of bows and arrows that are available for the taking in the Training Center and shoot a perfect shot. Archery is my best talent; I feel like I was destined to always have a quiver of arrows and a bow slung across my back. Hopefully all of you can understand how sure I was that I was going to get a great score. However, as usual, the odds were not in my favor.

When I entered the Training Center, almost all of the Gamemakers were busy stuffing themselves with the huge feast that flowed ceaselessly from the kitchens. I shot arrows in numerous locations, but the Gamemakers were still absorbed in their meal. I felt a type of anger course through me as I glared at the Gamemakers. The anger was different than the flash of annoyance at myself I would often feel when I failed to catch my quarry back in the woods near District 12. It reminded me of the time when my mother completely abandoned my sister and I after my father died in a mine explosion. It was a raw anger, fueled by inattention. How could the Gamemakers so rudely disrespect me? Didn't they understand that my life was on the stake, that I was the reason they were there in the Training Center in the first place?

Blinded by silent rage, I both mindlessly and effortlessly shot an arrow through the bloodred apple clenched in the mouth of a roasted pig. I can't even remember what I said afterward, but I know that my response dripped with hubris. I stalked out of the training room like a regal lion walking past its pride. I then ran away to my room, feeling the consequences of my actions sink in.

I've completely demolished my chances of receiving a good score from the Gamemakers. Any faint hope of possible sponsors for me has completely faded. The lively spark that I started out as during the presentation of the tributes has been extinguished. Is it possible for a tribute to score a zero? I don't remember that ever happening in past Hunger Games. It's impossible for me to get anything over a zero after the disrespect I showed to some of the most powerful people in the Capitol. Also, I don't even want to imagine the disappointment that my stylist, Cinna, must feel. He worked so hard to make sure that my costume for the opening ceremonies was unforgettable. I feel like I would let him down if I got a bad score on my assessment. Cinna is one of the few people in the Capitol who I can actually listen to without wanting to throw myself off of the roof of the Training Center.

Speaking of the Training Center roof, I now understand why tributes tried to jump off of it before the electric force field was erected. What's the point of participating in a game when the creators themselves already deemed you a failure?

No matter how much I am worried about myself and my future in the Hunger Games, I can't help thinking of my mother and Prim, far away in District 12. Anxiety grips my heart as I realize that they may be punished for my actions. What if the authorities in District 12 take away their food supply? What if Prim is sent to the community home? What if they are publicly executed? The authorities of Panem couldn't possibly do that, could they? I know they could. I've seen them take away a girl and boy running from the Capitol. A hovercraft scooped them up out of the woods. I know for a fact that the girl is an Avox now. I'm temporarily petrified as I imagine people from the Capitol cutting out Prim's tongue, blood spattering onto the floor...

Enough of that. Effie Trinket is knocking on my door. It's time for dinner.