Falling For A Hijabi (part 1 And 2)

chapter 4 Letters from the past

Jannah pov

" Dear Jannah......" The first letter read, as my tears raced down m cheeks.

" I know that you don't remember, but I do, and it hurts like a thousand stabs to the heart, but what hurts more is that I see you everyday at school, but I can't even speak to you."

" I know our relationship was doomed from the first day, but I can't, I can't help but search for your face among the crowd, I can't help but wait for you everyday outside the school to see you one last time before going home, I can't help but sit behind you in the classroom, I can't help but spend my lunchtime looking at you reading a book, and then go and borrow this book from the library, just to read what you read, I can't help but...............love you." My tears beat me here, so I stopped to gather my strength to continue.

After five minutes I continued " I could never imagine before you that I would fall in love one day, because you taught me love, you taught me that it is the noblest of human feelings, a feeling beyond body and shapes, beyond our understanding, beyond science explaination. It is God's secret in all of us."

" Jannah, I want you to know that I needed you more than you needed me. Before you, I only cared about myself, I never cared about giving, until you came along, and you taught me how to be a giver, to sometimes forget about yourself to make people around you happy, to sacrifice. I understand all this, but when it comes to you Jannah, I'm selfish, your love is the last thing I would ever want to sacrifice, if it was only about my mother, I would have never allowed it to happen, but it's about you now, it's about your safety now, so I have to go away, I have to watch you from the shadows, I have to keep you only in my heart, and I can't help but envy the man who will win your heart and get to be with you forever. Yours forever, James " I finished reading the first letter.

With my heart being shattered all over the place I opened the second one,

" Dear Jannah, today I found out that you will be honored as a valedictorian at school, I wanted so bad to run to you and tell you how proud I'm of you, you were and you are my only victory in life, you are the reason why I wake up every morning, you are the reason why I show up at school every day. Seeing you every day, is the only thing that keeps me going on. " I stopped here and I looked at James and said,

" And it was the only thing keeping me going on all those years too " I whispered into his ear, then continued reading his letter,

" But this sense of helplessness is chocking me, I simply can't do it anymore, I can't just watch you being taken away from me like this, I need to speak to you, I need to let you know, that I'm here, that I was always here, that I will be always here, I need you back Jannah, I won't surrender like this, yours, James. " The second lettere ended with me realizing that he wrote this letter before our confrontation.

" I understand now!!!! I remember when you spoke to me and told me you had the same dream, I didn't know that it was real, I'm sorry " I couldn't stop my tears, feeling guilty that I let him down.

I opened the third letter to read " Dear Jannah, today I took my shahada at the local mosque, your brother Hassan was there, I saw him but I couldn't speak to him. The imam was a really nice man, he was so patient with my pronunciation of the Arabic words, as soon as I said the words, I felt like being born again, the imam told me that all my sins were erased, I felt so relieved to take those loads off my shoulders. "

" I've also got to meet new friends, they told me that by joining Islam, we are now brothers, so now I have brothers from India, Pakistan, Palestine, Nigeria, Egypt, Bangladesh, and all over the world. I wish you were here to witness what you have done to me, how you changed me. "

"Don't worry, I'm not doing this for you, it is my decision, I took it after searching and studying Islam for a year now."

" I'm also happy, that I will be able to pray and make dua' to Allah to bring us together in Halal. Thank you Jannah for introducing me to this great religion, thank you for everything. Your brother in Islam, James "

I was about to open the fourth letter to read when the I heard the door open, a Young woman came in who wasn't wearing the hospital uniform, so I guessed she was a visitor,

" Who are you ? " She asked me aggressively.

I looked at myself realising that I wasn't wearing my white coat,

" I'm his doctor, and you are? " I asked with the same tone of hers.

" I'm his girlfriend!!!! " She replied.

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