Falling For A Hijabi (part 1 And 2)

Chapter 18 Come back for me

Jannah pov

" Throw her into the water " Falcone said.

I instantly knew I was dead, I was tied, I didn't know how to swim, I was dead anyway, and I didn't care, for me it was better than living without James, maybe it was the only way to be with him so I accepted my fate.

My biggest fear in life was that I die without fullfilling my ambitions, but I had the world at my feet, I've seen love and succeess, and that was enough for me.

" I'm satisfied God, I have had my enough " these were my last words before hitting the water.

The water was freezing cold, I hoped that the hypothermia would kill me before the suffocation.

In the water, I kept thinking about my family, how would they react? How would they adjust to life without me? Would they forgive me?!!! Would they blame me?!!!
They have had enough losses in their lives, I didn't want them to go through my loss too.
I was a source of pride for them, now I would be a source of grief.

I kept thinking about my mother and how my death would affect her, I knew that the mother can never get over the death of a child till her dying day.
I kept imaginging her weeping over my grave.
I knew that she would act tough, but her heart would be torn apart.

I remebered shahd, my little sister, I was her only rock, her role model,
I wanted to chose her wedding dress with her, I wanted to be standing next to her on her wedding day.
I wanted to be a cool aunt for her children, but I wouldn't.

I kept remebering my grandma, she was already sick, she was in a wheelchair.
My loss would probably kill her.

And Hassan, my brother, the one that changed for me, I hoped that my death wouldn't have the same effect my father's death had on him.

The I remebered what they told us in medical School that drowning is one of the worst ways to die because of the pain and the agony the person faces before death.
I Hoped that my death would make up for my sins. I prayed that God makes it quick.

All that didn't take a minute, but for me it felt like an eternity.
It is true what they say about what a dying person sees before his death, my life flashed before my eyes.

After five minutes, I started to feel the effect of hypoxia on my body, my vision became blurry, and I kept going in and out of consciousness.
I was waiting anxiously for my demise to happen, the one that I was satisfied to meet.

I started feeling the water entering my respiratory system through my nose, it burnt as it did.
It was like being squeezed between two walls and the space I was in was getting more and more constricted by the second.

With every trial of inhalation, more water was sucked in through my nostrils, I tried to stop inhaling, but it was my body acting against me.

It wasn't the first time for me to experience that horrible feeling, it reminded me of when my brother wanted to strangle me.
That sense of helplessness that you couldn't even have control over your body was petrifying.

The pain kept getting worse, first it was in my chest, it was like sombody forcing a sword down my throat. Then it was in my whole body, it felt like every single cell in my body hurt.
The pain was like an explosion that tore my body apart, but the worst part about it, that my body was still intact.  Those who die in explosions experience that pain once but I had to go through this pain for a thousand more times before I black out.

The lack of oxygen caused my body to go into severe cramps.
After a moment or two, the cramps stopped, and the pain was gone, that wasn't a good sign at all, I knew that my death was moments away.