Diary of a Psychopath

The Beatriz's Story

Guanambi BA, 13/01/2005

The couple Gilberto and Maria lives in the neighborhood Vomita Mel in the city of Guanambi BA where along with their residence they have a bar where middle-aged men go to drink and talk bullshit. I know this because my father would take me there once in a while, he used to pass by when we were coming from somewhere. To "have a beer" he said. For me to stay in that environment was torture! I counted the minutes to get away. I could not bear to hear so much shit from those ridiculous drunks, including my fool old man.

Without an option, I tried to relax and analyze the place and the creatures that inhabited it, the drunks were men around the age of 45 and slovenly-looking. They spoke incredible numbers of nonsense in no time at all, they laughed at things utterly dull, complained about their wives revealing intimacies of their relationships. They also complained of their children saying that the youth did not "want anything with the voice of Brazil" they talked about football and other national crap. The owner of the establishment, Gilberto, was extremely serious. He was not involved in the stupid conversations of his clients, he was just observing everything in silence. He was one of the few people I "respected" Maria was one of the most annoying creatures on earth. She was short, robust and had fair skin, curly and black hair, was also strabic and had rabbit teeth. Many questioned why Gilberto, who was a tall, fair-haired man blond and light-eyed, would have married a terrifying creature like that? "There is one for every taste." Maria often comes meddling in customers' conversations giving hints and criticizing, this irritated Gilberto very much that watched everything quietly maintaining his serious posture, when that woman began to speak, she did not stop anymore, she seemed to have an immense need to be heard otherwise would become mad.

On a certain day after my father went to pick me up at the school we passed Gilberto's bar, so my old man asked for a drink, Gilberto served him and while my old man drank his cachaça the talking plague appeared. "God damn it! That miserable one will start with her talk again." And that's exactly what happened, she started talking and talking and talking... she talked so much she looked like a machine, she did not even breathe before starting another sentence. My head has started aches, my look focused on Maria's face, her wonky eye moving endlessly, her mouth opening and closing at an unusual speed. I took a deep breath, clenched my fists "GOD DAMN IT!!! SHUT THE FUCKING MOUTH YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!!" I needed to get out of there! I could not bear to hear that unbearable voice, I got up and politely asked for a glass of water.

— Of course Caim, you can go to the kitchen and drink.

— Thank you.

The house and bar are on the same grounds and at the back of the bar there is a door leading to the backyard. I walked through the door and walked through the backyard plants feeling an immense relief to get away from that unbearable creature. Walking quietly, I entered the house through a door that gave direct access to the kitchen and soon I saw the water filter. I took a glass in the cupboard next to it, I filled it up only halfway, because I was not really thirsty, all this was a pretext to get away from Maria. While I drank the water I heard a groan, finished drinking and put the glass in the sink, I heard another groan. I walked through the house and again I heard the same groan, I finally discovered the source of the noise, on one of the bedrooms I saw a weird girl lying on a white bed of metal that you see in hospitals. When she saw me she immediately began to laugh and try to speak, but the words were distorted and incomprehensible.

— So they have a retarded daughter!

— They're smart, they hide her from everyone, they should be afraid of embarrassment!

— This is going to be interesting.

— Hey! What is your name?

She just laughed and stared at me with her mouth open and wide-eyed, then she started to point to a sketchbook that was on a bedside table, I took the sketchbook and handed it to her, but she handed me back and made some gestures that I understood as a request for me to draw something. Since I was always good at drawing I drew an Indian holding a bow, and handed the sketchbook to her. The girl started to laugh like a lunatic, in at this moment her mother came into the bedroom.