My Sweet, FAT, Abrielle

Chapter 13

I don't quite remember how I got home from the restaurant. I recalled hailing a taxi but after that everything else was a blur; getting off the taxi, getting into the house, did I even pay the taxi driver? It was the strangest thing that had ever happened to me in all my twenty seven years. I even started to wonder whether it was just the heart break or something more than that. Somehow, I had found my way to my room and stripped off every piece of clothing I'd been wearing. I was now crying and I was more than half an hour into it with no close signs of stopping.

I cried so hard, the kind that involves your heart, body and soul,  the kind of crying that has your whole body shaking, the kind that leaves you weak and exhausted. I cried for minutes and they turned into hours as I was still crying. I waited for the tears to run out, I did,  but they didn't. For the life of me I couldn't stop myself. As much as I tried to, I couldn't.

After a while, I realized that I may not be able to control myself. So I turned to God and earnestly prayed to him to help me. I  asked for strength to handle the situation and more importantly, to help me calm down. Soon, I felt myself calming down. A while later, the crying stopped completely, the ache in my heart didn't.

I had realized two things from this experience; first, that I was a huge cryer.  I never knew that I could cry so much and for such a long time. Secondly, I was more in love with Max than I had thought possible. Yes, I had admitted to being in love with him,  but I had not realized how deep my love for him was. This realization intensified the sad feeling in me and I felt the tears start to come back.  However, I swallowed whatever heartache I had and took in a few breaths to calm down.

Darkness had already fallen and I realized that I had not switched on the light in my room yet. I stood,  yawning and switched on the light then reached for my phone to check the time. Seven forty five pm.  Another look showed eleven missed calls. My heart soared a little as the romantic in me hoped that Max had called. But the missed calls were all from Lucy.  Oh crap!  Lucy!

I had not even bothered to let them know that I was leaving. I knew how worried she would be by now, seeing as I was not even answering my phone. Knowing Lucy, she would probably think of the worst things having happened to me.

Oh, I'm so stupid. I groaned inwardly.

I should have spoken to Lucy. Or Karen.  Why didn't I think of doing so?   Guilt filled my entire conscience and Max was temporarily forgotten at that moment . The only thing on my mind was Lucy. How frantically she would be searching for me, how worried she'd be, how mad she would get when we saw each other again. Maybe she had even gone to the police. That thought had me calling her immediately.

She answered on the first ring.
"Hello, is that you Abrielle? "

"Yes Lulu,  it's..... "

"Where the hell have you been?  Why aren't you answering your phone? "

"I'm so sorry honey, I left in such a rush and forgot to inform you.  I know I should have but... "

"Of course you should have. Like four hours ago. We searched everywhere, we called everyone but no one knew where you were. Do you know that right know I'm at the police station? "

Of course she went to the police.

"Mh? Really Abrielle, you should have answered your phone, at the very least.. "

Lucy was really really mad at me.

"Sorry Lulu.  I really am. Please come home and I'll explain everything. "

She didn't say anything.  She hung up the phone.

Oh God, this was the worst day I had had in a long time. After the day I had, I couldn't handle Lucy being mad at me too. I needed her. I knew that what I  had done had caused them a great deal of worry and time, and that it had been very insensitive, but I really had not meant to hurt Lucy. I had totally forgotten about them. 

I stepped into the shower and let the water wash away the dust and tears as I strategized on how I was going to apologize to Lucy.

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After the shower, I changed into my pajamas and then proceeded to the living room to wait for the entourage. I knew they would all be disappointed, but the one I was really worried about was Lucy. I knew I would have to do a lot of explaining before she even considered talking to me, but I was determined to try.

Suddenly, I heard the car pull into the driveway, announcing their arrival. A few minutes later, the four of them entered the house looking very weary. My eyes quickly flew to Lucy but she wouldn't look at me. 

"Hi guys," I said, my voice betraying all the nervousness I was feeling.

"Hi, they all chorused, except Lucy,"

"I'm so sorry about what happened today, I should have told you that I was leaving. Something happened and I had to leave immediately. Please forgive me," I said.

"It's no big deal Abrielle, we understand," Tim said.

"What?" asked Lucy incredulously, "we understand? Tim, we understand?"

"Lucy," I tried to explain.

"No, we don't.