New Beginning: Tortured by the Past, Haunted by the Future

The Wait is Finally Over: Chapter 20

John is standing in the doorway in disbelief, that his wife, the love of his life is sitting in front of him. He's not sure if he should be mad at her or what. All he knows is that she is still as beautiful and sexy as when he first laid eyes on her. And realizes just how much he really loves her, not to mention how much he missed he too.

Tracie is still in awe of how handsome, sexy and irresistible John is and the hold he has over her. Just like the first time they met. She isn't sure what to do as she is frozen, just sitting there starring at him.

Johnny walks into the room, towards the bed and kneels in front of her, taking her into his arms and pulling her close.

Tracie wraps her arms around his neck and begins to feel the tears falling down her face. Feeling secure and whole again.

John holds her tighter than he has before, feeling that the missing piece of his heart has just been returned to him as he takes a deep breath, breathing her in.

For what seems like forever, he finally pulls away from her, taking his hand and pushing away a piece of hair from her face, than wiping the tears from her cheek.

She takes her hand and runs it through his hair, than gently touches his face, running her fingertips across his lips.

John kisses her hand, holding it to his lips. All he wants to do is just hold his wife and never let go. So he stands up, taking her hands into his and pulls her off the bed, picking her up. He walks around to his side of the bed and lays her down. Than he lays next to her, just holding her.

Tracie doesn't resist him, she could never resist him and she lies next to him, breathing him in, every last ounce of him.

He pulls her closer to him, holding tighter than before, not letting go, as they fall asleep in each other's arms, fully clothed.

A few hours after falling asleep, Tracie wakes up, still wrapped in John's arms. With her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, she just watches him sleep.

John stirs, opening his eyes; he looks down and sees Tracie lying next to him. Knowing that this isn't a dream, he pulls her closer to him not wanting to let her go. But he sense an awkwardness between them that has never been there before.

Still feeling the awkwardness between them, she props herself up on her right elbow and with her left hand she is stroking his chest, she says, "Johnny, I know sorry is never going to suffice for the pain that I've caused you all these months. But I am truly sorry. I love you so much. You are my life and love."

Reaching over to touch her face with his left hand, he sees the pain in her face and says, "We will get through this, I promise. And I am sorry for all the pain that you went through, T. I am always going to be her for you no matter. I hope you know that? I love you too much and I'm not going to loose you again." Johnny says to her.

Tracie looks into his eyes and sees the love that he has for her. Than she leans closer to him and gives him a deep, passionate kiss.

Johnny returns the kiss but pulls away from her, looking into her big brown eyes.

He wants to be with this woman that he loves so badly he can taste her and feel her as his desire for her has never waned but he just can't bring himself to be with her. Not just yet, not without knowing whether she is going to stay for good this time or leave again.

Tracie looks at him and knows that look in his eyes and he doubts her, which she doesn't blame him. She needs to tell him everything to salvage her marriage and to reassure him that she is never going to leave him again. Se loves him too much and knows that she has hurt him more than she ever thought she could. But no more, she is not risking her marriage anymore.

He gets up off the bed and goes into the bathroom, closing the door behind him, leaving her sitting on the bed until she hears Marissa stirring and Madison talking to her.

Once Johnny is behind the closed door of the bathroom, he turns on the cold water and places his cupped hands underneath the running water, filling them ad than splashing his face.

Shutting the water off, he looks at himself in the mirror, as the water is dripping down his face and just isn't sure about his marriage anymore but doesn't want to feel this way either. He knows they need to talk but he doesn't want to push her either.

Reaching over he grabs a towel and dries his face off before heading back out to the bedroom, where he finds that Tracie is no longer there but hears her voice in Marissa's room along with Madison.