The Sun's Too Bright

Four

🎵Cop Car: Keith Urban

Present day...

I sit in that damn coffee shop, telling him about what happened all those years ago. Trying to figure out what went wrong between us. How we grew apart.

Then, I stop talking for a minute. I look at this man that I used to be in love with. His blond hair is darker now, shorter than how he kept it when we were younger. He has worry lines under his eyes, something I would have never imagined Jack Morrison to have. He still has those green eyes that used to give me butterflies, they still do even though they're dimmed now. It's apparent under his black t-shirt that he still works out. He's a stranger sitting in the booth across from me, yet he's too familiar. The sight of him still makes my heart pound rapidly, like it did back when we were in love. There's something about young love that you can never get over. No matter what, the lingering memories always give you that spark.

I can't make up my mind about him. Why did he come here? He probably had a life back in Missouri, or wherever he ended up. God knows it was probably better than it ever was here.

The waitress comes to our table. "Are you guys ready to order?"

I respond, "Yes." While Jack answers, "I think we still need a minute."

High school...

"Who was the first leader who enforced communism?"

"Vladimir Lenin." I respond to Jack. We're studying for the last history test of the year in my bedroom. We sit on my bed at opposite ends. Him laying on his back and me sitting up with my legs crossed

"Then what did Karl Marx do?"

"He wrote The Communist Manifesto and is considered the founder of communism, but he never enforced it."

He lightly kicks my arm, making me look up from writing the answers to homework questions in my notebook. "What?"

"How is it possible that I'm the only one who knows how smart you really are?"

I put down my notebook. "Well, my parents are wrapped up in their own problems, my friends have their own lives to worry about, and I don't really talk to anyone else so beats me."

"Diane, I really think that you should show people how intelligent you are."

"Spare me the lecture, I've already gotten it today."

"So I'm not the only one who pays attention to you."

I pause. I really didn't want to talk about this.

"Diane, think about it. You're going to college with me just so we could be together and I could live my dream of playing college ball. What about you? Don't you have any dreams?"

"My dream is spending the rest of my life with you." I respond automatically. It's a habit at this point. It's what I've told my friends, my brother, and my parents whenever they asked. It feels weird to give this response to Jack though. I feel like I have to go more into depth with Jack. He's the type of person I need to justify my decisions with, but I can't seem to find any further details including my future plans.

"And that's my dream too, but that doesn't mean we can't go to different schools."

"Jack, I've made my decision already."

"Is it the one that will make you the happiest?"

"Yes." I look him in the eyes. It takes all I have to not falter.

Jack sighs in frustration. "Okay Diane."

We finish studying for a little bit longer. The topic doesn't stray away from anything, but history.

I walk him out to his car. "Are you sure you don't want to have dinner at my place?" Jack asks me. Every time we come home to my parents fighting, he invites me over. Typically, I do, but there's still tension between us from our conversation about college earlier.

I shake my head in response and he hugs me and kisses the top of my head. We stand like that for a minute and then he pulls back slightly and looks me straight in the eyes. "I love you Diane Walters."

"I love you too, Jack Morrison."

I watch as Jack drives away. When he does, I sit on the porch, avoiding going inside and having to face my parents. The evening is beautiful, displaying a gorgeous sunset. The weather's not too warm, but not cool either.

It gives me time to think about college, trying to imagine going without Jack. It's hard since we've been together for three years, seeing each other almost every day since the end of freshman year.

But what if I go to one of the various academic-based schools that have been contacting me. Possibly going to school for history and leaving Chicago behind. Part of me wants to go and see what's out there, but another part of me would hate to leave home. This is the conflicting thoughts that I can't tell Jack about. I typically tell him everything.

I walk back inside, deciding it was time to make dinner. I find my dad sitting at the kitchen table, reading a book.

"Hey Sport." He greets me.

Yeah, my dad still calls me boyish nicknames like that. I study him, noticing how he looks nothing like he did a couple of hours earlier.

"Hi Dad."

"So you heard us fighting." He states the obvious.

"It was hard not to."

"Yeah." His eyes return to the newspaper.

I glance at the mail on the counter. Several colleges are still contacting me. There are three that came in just from today's mail.

I already got accepted into Missouri State. It's not a bad school, not at all. I'll study history or something there.

I make my dinner and take it to my bedroom. Later, I try to fall asleep, but thoughts of my family and college flood my head.