Conflict in the house has almost become just a normal thing to me now.
Every morning the same thing until i've become numb to it.
Same routine.
I somehow made it to school earlier than usual and i was alone.
no one else has arrived yet, i don't know what to do until then…
The sky is dark, the air is freezing, few birds are singing and depends where you sit, you won't see anything.
My usual spot is really dark and i liked it, so nobody sees this "ugly bitch".
My mind was overflowing with thoughts, self-hate and so much fucking anger, hate, sadness, depression and suicide, i couldn't help but just…fucking break down…
My tears are warm and they streamed like rivers down my face. My face red, my fists and my teeth clenched and my breath uncontrollable.
Why can't i do anything right?
what's wrong with me?
Why do people see me like this?
Why do i see myself like this?
Why do i have to live like this?
What did i do wrong?
what did i do?
I can't…
I can't…
you can't…
you just…can't…
The cold wind was attacking me, stabbing me like tiny little needles all over my body and i didn't have a jacket on my because my dumbass forgot it at home!
I've been crying for 5 minutes straight now, freezing, exhausted and breathless.
I feel so weak…
I want to die…
I don't want to live if i'm so weak…
It began to consume me…
I tried curling up…
My cries are weak and silent…i can't breathe…i-i don't know what to do…
The sun is rising and people have started to arrive.
Quickly wiping my tears and hiding my shame, i sat up straight and waited for the morning routine to begin.
I finally saw Carl and Mary in the distance, glowing as usual.
Somehow i was actually looking forward to talking to them…
I guess…
It's been about three weeks since i met them and everything seemed fine when i was with them. Sometimes Carl would be absent in which case Mary talks to me about him and about them and vice-versa. I like them.
They came directly to me and immediately engaged with me.
"Good morning, how are you?"
"Been better, and you guys?"
"We're alright"
Mary took a good look at me. "You look cold, how long have you been here?"
I'm surprised she noticed. "O-oh…uhh…a while now…I-I got here early"
"Oof, been there", Carl said looking at me worryingly.
"Here, take my jacket, you need it more than me", He added while still looking at me.
I was honestly surprised at the gesture, "N-no, i'm fin-…"
"Please, i insist, you can get really sick and we don't want that for you"
"Take it Samantha, it's ok"
"Th-thank you…"
"No problem"
We continued talking and for a brief moment i felt like everything was ok…
They actually made me laugh…
the day went on normally and before i knew it, it was already time to go home.
I took my usual route and i got to the abandoned cottage.
It somehow started to feel like…
Like home…
For the first time i actually smiled and laughed at school…
I thought that part of me didn't exist anymore…
Carl and Mary…the best people i know…but…
I just don't know…
I don't want to trust…
I just can't…
YOU ARE READING
The Girl Who Cried
Teen FictionSamantha is a girl who spends most of her days being someone she's not to protect others and to protect herself from others. Her life is a mess and she wishes it gone. By her side to support her are her friends Carl Richards and his girlfriend Mary...
