The Girl Who Cried

CHAPTER 5

For a moment mom went completely pale like she'd seen a ghost. The tension grew as Carl, Mary and i were wondering what was going on.

"J-…Jasper?" My mom managed to get out. "I'm so sorry" the man said hugging mom and she cried in his arms, it was like a movie unfolding before me. "Oh my God" mom cried.

"Should've been me" the man said holding on to my mom. His eyes were glistening, it was like two best friends finally reuniting…or…what if…no, it can't be…

Mom said he died…he ran away…h-he can't be…but what if he is?

"D-…Dad?" The man's eyes widened as he slowly turned to me. "Samantha? My god you're so big" he forced out with tears in his eyes. "I-I'm so sorry…I-I'm not your father." "Wha-…" i managed to force out of my aching throat. "I'm a close friend" he answered with so much pain in his eyes.

It was easy to mistake him since i never knew my father. Carl and Mary got up figuring it's family time. Mary walked over and gave my arm a reassuring squeeze before they left. "Have a great day guys," Carl said followed by a "Bye" from Mary.

Mom waved at them and so did i, but the man…Jasper was still shocked thinking of what to say.

"Your father…he…he was a good man. He fought along side me for years and never have we let each other down. He was disciplined, courageous, strong and overall a genuine selfless man."

As he started saying those things, i already imagined what would come next. No...is this it? "He…he saved my life…but this time…I-…I couldn't save him." Tears rolled out of his eyes as he said that last part. I was so shocked that i didn't even realise that my cheeks were drenched with tears. "N-No…please," i managed to get out.

"He told me to give you this" he said handing me a letter. "Dear Samantha, i'm so sorry that i couldn't be part of your life, and i'm so sorry if that affected your life in any way. I was planning on coming back but if you received this letter, most likely delivered by my best friend Jasper, that would mean that something terrible has happened to me or i just didn't make it to tell the tale for myself." At that last part, it would seem that my dad had a good sense of humor similar to mine.

"I know you will grow up to be a strong and caring woman just like your mother." When i saw those words, i instantly looked back at my mom who was talking to Jasper still crying. It would seem that her strength perished…like mine.

"I love you Samantha, i hope you know that forever. I just didn't have the time to express it to you before i was deployed. Military is a tough lil cookie. Keep your head high and take good care of your mother for me ok? I love you so much, now i can love you from the heavens too. With love, Eric/dad"

I was a mess after reading that. I was crying so much, mom was crying but Jasper was still holding strong. I admired that. He gave mom and i a reassuring squeeze on the arm before heading out. "My condolences, i wish you guys all the love and strength possible, may the lord light your way." With that, he left.

My heart sank and all my emotions mixed up...all the pain i had hidden

All the times i should've broken down…

All the desperate cries for someone to end me…

My physical pain became stronger…

All the pain i held back came to haunt me…

I had a father, but i never got to have him…he-he could've helped me…my mom…Jim would've never happened…what's the point to life anymore? If i can't live it with my father? And soon probably my mother…

Murder…so much blood…bodies everywhere…me among them…i-i should be among them…

Why am i here?

Why did i survive?

Why me?

Why?

Does life hate me? Has it forgotten about me? Am i destined to suffer? I-…i can't go on any longer…i must end it…