Your Love (Harry Styles AU)

The Phone Call - Part 19

"What the hell Gemma!" Harry whispered harshly, shoving his phone back to her.

"No way, you're going to fucking talk to her!" She snapped pushing the phone back to him. "I'm sick and tired of you sulking here, now man the fuck up and talk to her."

"Hello," you answered on the other line.

Both Harry and Gemma sat frozen, staring at each other.

"Hello, Harry?" You whispered again.

Harry sighed getting up from the couch and walking over to the window. He brought his phone up to his ear and took a huge, deep breath.

"Y/N, Hey," he said softly.

"Harry, I uh, I'm a little shocked that you're calling," you stated.

"Yeah, I uh... is this a bad time?" He asked.

"Um, no, it's not," you said.

Awkward silence oozed its way into the conversation. It felt as if minutes went by before either of you said anything.

"Harry, is there a reason you called?" You asked.

He sighed looking down, "I... I don't know... I just..."

"If you're calling to ask me if I'm back with my ex, I'm not," you said. "But even if I was, it shouldn't really be a concern to you since you broke up with me."

"No-I didn't," he said. "I just needed some time."

"And that meant you had to walk out without saying a word? Or contacting me before now?" You asked.

"I wrote you a letter," he defended.

"I still would have preferred to hear it from you," you said.

"Look, I'm sorry, Y/N? Okay, but I needed some time to gather my feelings," he said. "I didn't want to hurt you. I'd never want to hurt you."

"I used to think that, but now I'm not so sure," you said. "Do you know how this looks right now? Or you calling me right makes me feel? You walked out, you left, you never called me, but now, when there are rumors about me being with someone else, you call."

"I know this looks bad," he sighed. "But... that's not why I called."

Well, technically, Harry thought.

"Then why did you call? Because all this conversation has been you mumbling and being silent," you said.

He sighed running his hands over his face, "I'm sorry, this is just all really hard for me."

"This is me, Harry. We told each other a lot before now, so why can't you open up to me," you whispered.

"I don't know," he sighed looking out the window again. "I open my mouth and the words are there, but they just don't come out."

"Did I do something to make you uncomfortable or weary of talking to me?" You asked.

"No," he said. "It's just... this... how I'm feeling is something I've never really felt before and it's very personal..."

"I don't want to pressure you into telling me anything if you're not ready, but I do need to know something and I think I deserve this much," you said.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Do you have feelings for me? Do you want to be with me at all?" You whispered.

Harry sucked in a breath and leaned against the wall, "More than anything," he whispered. "That's all I want..."

"Then promise me you won't ignore me? And we won't go a week without talking," you whispered. "I'm not asking for a phone call every day... I just.. I still like you, a lot, and I don't want to lose what we have. I'll understand if you're not ready to be how we once were, but I want something more than what we've been doing."

"I agree," he said. "I've missed your voice."

"Well, technically you could just listen to one of my songs," you giggled.

"Not the same," he laughed.

"I've missed you," you whispered.

"I've missed you too," he said. "I regret leaving the way I did... I was just so overwhelmed... but then after I did it, I felt like a complete dick."

"It happened, we all do things we wish we did differently," you said.

"I really thought I fucked up things between us," Harry sighed.

"Well, I mean you kinda did, but it's nothing we can't look past," you said.

"So uh... about your ex..." Harry stated.

"Nothing is going on with him," you said. "I went out one night, he was there, we hung out a bit and left at the same time. I only got into his car because mine hadn't gotten there yet and the cameras were everywhere, so he let me get into his car. We went to our separate hotels and I haven't really spoken to him since."

"That makes me feel a little bit better," he said.

"Harry, despite what happened between us, I wasn't just going to get over what we had like that and I definitely wouldn't have gone back to my ex," you said.

"Well, that is good to hear," he said. "I'll admit I did take it sort of hard when I saw the pictures."

"I'm sorry," you sighed. "That's one of the downsides of this life."

"I can only imagine," he said.

"I'd hate to leave, but I probably should let you go now," you said. "Can we talk later?"

"Of course," he said.

"Okay, um, I'll talk to you then?" You asked.

"Yeah," he smiled.

"Great," you said. "Bye."

"Bye, Y/N," he said.

Harry ended the call and couldn't help, but have a smile on his face. Everything wasn't fully okay yet between the two of you, but it was a start and he couldn't be happier about that.

"You're welcome by the way," Gemma smirked from the couch as she put her feet up on the coffee table and turned the TV onto something she wanted to watch.

Harry rolled his eyes before joining his sister on the couch.

**

You sighed laying back on the bed after ending the call with Harry. It was a strange feeling having talked to him, knowing you hadn't spoken in weeks. You still felt nervous and giddy when you heard his voice, even after what happened. You knew there was something going on with Harry, some underlying feelings and you knew that you two couldn't move forward until he felt okay enough to share those thoughts and feelings with you.

But you would never force him or pressure him to share those because that wouldn't help and could possibly make matters worse. You just hoped that one day he would find the strength and the vulnerability to share how he was feeling. Until then though, you would take what you could get from Harry because there was something about him that made you want to stay.

You put your phone back on the charger and climbed back under the blankets before trying your best to go back to sleep.