"You're taking prenatal vitamins, right? You should probably be working on your maternity wardrobe as well, you'll be showing in no time,"
I press my mobile close against my ear hardly listening to my mother's ramblings as I peep into the pot of simmering meat and vegetables. The house had that eerie silence that I absolutely couldn't stand and a light shower of rain had pelted against the roof all morning. It was a quaint and quiet Saturday morning and as much as I usually enjoyed them I wasn't in the best mood.
Harry had left in the wee hours of the morning without waking me to say goodbye and needless to say I was completely disappointed to wake up to an empty bed. We were once again on our silent treatment basis after my suggestion to attend couples therapy. I'd voiced a simple and valid concern somehow managed to piss him off and I couldn't figure out why. Our constant fighting was obvious and it drove me insane how he kept insisting otherwise. It was already bad enough when we weren't on speaking terms but it always felt a million times worse when he took the angst with him. The thought of something happening and my last memory of him being a bitter one never failed to haunt me.
"We can go shopping today if you want," Mom continues.
Ever since I'd revealed my pregnancy it was hard to get my mother to talk about anything else. She was hands down the most excited person regarding the baby. Her enthusiasm was unmatched.
I sigh. As much as I really needed new bras I really wanted to be alone today.
" I would," I reply slowly. "but I've got chili and cornbread to bring over to a repass at noon."
I eye the kitchen clock. It was just past ten-thirty.
"How depressing," she replies. "maybe later?"
I feel bad wanting to avoid her. I just knew her mother's intuition would kick in and see through my facade.
"I should be around the coast this afternoon." comes my vague reply.
On second thought it did sound nice to escape this miserable and drafty house for a while.
"Great," Mom practically squeals. "we can catch lunch or dinner when you come around. You are eating enough, right?"
I can't help but chuckle at how protective she's become in the past few days whilst staring down at the small bump under my shirt.
While it was still quite hard to tell I was pregnant, I was certainly starting to feel more like it. My hips were slowly beginning to widen, making me resort to wearing skirts, dresses and yoga pants as most of my jeans were becoming too small. My back had already begun to ache as the baby's arms and legs grew longer and I was beginning to feel winded. Physically I was feeling great if only my emotional health was up to par.
"Yes, Mom." I reply "I'm eating plenty. Baby Styles is well fed."
*****
I drummed my fingers against the steering wheel, letting out a deep breath as I stared at the quaint little house in front of me. A few cars were parked in the driveway, the crowd goers of the repass having yet to arrive, and a black ribbon hanging ominously on the front door.
Most people around town requested my services for happy occasions: retirement parties, bridal and baby showers and birthdays. It was very rare that someone wanted my food for sad occasions. I hardly knew how to act. While I'd managed to witness Ryan lose his mother, I could never imagine the pain of grieving someone first hand. I'd never lost anyone close to me. My matching mauve top and skirt seemed far too cheery for the occasion and what would I say? "Sorry for your lost but enjoy the food"?
With a deep sigh I unbuckled my seatbelt and grabbed the Tupperware containers, careful not to spill anything as I sauntered up the sidewalk. Ringing the doorbell with my manicured finger, I nervously waited, cursing myself for suddenly feeling the urge to run to the bathroom at a time like this. Just as soon as I pushed the thought out of my head, the door swung open.
