The (Horribly True) Story of my Life

I'm Calling it a Week

I'm calling it a week. Monday was a day, Tuesday was a day ... today was weird. I know it's only Wednesday but I'm just so tired of everything. 

Right now I'm really just trying not to be a desperate prick, to be completely honest. I have this thing with a girl and we both really like each other, so I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said that she had to think about it for a little bit. That was last Tuesday.

I hate being pushy, so I refuse to ask her again or bring it up unless she wants to talk about it. It doesn't really help matters that everyone I know keeps asking me if she said yes yet, or just assumes that we're already dating. Granted, we are very far in on a relationship without a label.

I guess I'm also scared because she wants things that I don't know if I can give her. That's a wink wonk if you know what I'm saying ... No, but seriously, I really fucking like her and she's already told me that she loves me.

Yep. Let that one sink in. 

There are so many types of love, but the fact that she's comfortable with the word enough to use it towards me ... that's insane (in a good way). I can't even tell my dad that I love him, but that's a story for another time.

Honestly, my life is a Hallmark movie. All of it. I could literally write a movie script:

Enter girl, dressed in flannel and black denim jeans. She looks rough.

Girl's roommate: Hey! You're just in time. They're about to start karaoke, you should sing something.

Girl: Oo! Definitely. What should I sing?

GR: They have a challenge list, you should check it out.

Girl approaches the stage. There is a sign with a list of songs posted.

Girl: Oh my god! I love Titanium!

Organizer: You should sing it!

Girl: Alright!

Girl writes 'Kirsten-Titanium' on karaoke sign-up sheet. She returns to her table.

Kirsten: I'm singing Titanium!

GR: Oh! You're gonna do so great.

New girl: Hey, I heard you're gonna sing. I kind of want to, but I dunno ...

K: You totally should! I'm Kirsten, by the way.

NG: H, nice to meet you!

K: You too!

Kirsten sings Titanium and the crowd loves it. She returns to her table yet again.

H: Oh my god! You were so good!

K: (blushing) Oh ... Thanks.

H: I'm gonna head back to residence. If you want to play pool later, here's my number.

This is boring ... basically, I met this girl at an LGBTQ2+ event at my college and we became instant friends. Then we got high once and made out.

After that, other things happened that I won't go into detail on ... and then we stopped talking because she got a girlfriend.

At the same time, I was crushing hard on this girl in my program (the same one that I asked to be my girlfriend). She and I were hard-core flirting for about two months. And by that, I mean that she was flirting and I was my awkward ass self. Apparently, that's attractive to some people, so go me?

Anyways, before things started happening with my crush, the girl I was fooling around with had stopped talking to me. And then on my crush's birthday, she (my crush) asked if she could kiss me. We were sitting in the middle of the cafeteria with our friends and she just randomly asked.

I was like, "Here?" and she said no and led me out into the empty hallway. Since then things have progressively gotten more intense between the two of us.

The issue arose when I found out that one of the guys that she's friends with, and is in our program, likes her. She doesn't like him, so you'd think this wouldn't be a problem—except that it was, and continues to be.

You see, this guy won't take a bloody hint and flirts with her constantly. Also, they spend an awful lot of time together in contrast to the amount of time that I spend with her (you know, that might be my fault but I'll deny it). I know that I really have no right to be jealous or mad or whatever, but I don't like it. Like, she's not my girlfriend (hopefully there's a yet after that) but there's still a bit of ... I dunno, a possession thing? between us. 

Needless to say, I haven't said a word about her being friends with this guy. And now, back to that girl that I had previously done things with, I'm friends with her again. I told my not-girlfriend that I was friends with this girl again and she was not happy. I think she was jealous? Which is ridiculous because she's the one that I want to be with, not my friend.

So, you see the Hallmark movie out of all this yet? If she says yes to being my girlfriend then that will be the happy ending, but if she says no ... well, that just adds to the fucking mess of a movie I could write.

I don't even know why I'm writing about this. Nobody on the internet cares about my life, and if they do, well why? Who are you? Why the hell are you reading this shitty story? Do you not have a life?

I'm sorry, I didn't mean that ... Like I said, It's been a week.