thin walls (are calling me home)

Chapter 25

"I'm a fucking asshole." Lauren murmured into the phone, her voice low so that there was a chance that Normani didn't hear it breaking.

"Hi." She replied, sounding confused. Lauren didn't blame her, since her statement wasn't exactly the best conversation opener. But then, "What happened? Are you crying?", and Lauren knew that she hadn't been able to hide her fragile state.

(It didn't even make sense to try and hide her pain, since she was calling Normani to talk about it, but the idea of being so readable made Lauren nervous.

She didn't like feeling like an open book. The reading of one's soul is a particular thing, and Lauren wouldn't like some people reading more than her introduction. Being easy to read was being vulnerable and that was a position that Lauren obviously didn't want to assume.)

"Yeah..." Lauren managed to get out around the lump in her throat. "Camila found out about the case before I could talk to her. I fucked up."

"Oh." Normani's tone was impossible to decipher, and for a moment Lauren thought that was all she was going to say. "You're not an asshole, Laur. You're only trying to help. But you should've told her sooner."

Lauren sighed, defeated. She didn't expect Normani to sugar coat the situation, but hearing that – and it was only fair that she heard it – hurt just as much as she'd thought it would.

"I know, I just... I was enjoying the couple of calm days we were having, y'know? Life's been crazy and for those days it was just... normal. Good." She swallowed the lump in her throat before continuing, a little more frantic. "I was going to tell her, I swear. I just- Detective Norman beat me to it."

"I know." Normani's voice was now gentle. "I'm sorry, Laur. And I'm sorry for my share of guilt in the matter."

"No, Mani, it's not your fault at all." Lauren was quick to assure her. "You were only helping me out, I asked you and-"

"Lauren." Normani said simply, interrupting the green eyed girl and sighing audibly through the phone a moment later. "I could've said no. But I didn't. I could've made you tell her, but I didn't. So I'm sorry."

Lauren shifted on the spot on the floor she'd been sitting on, letting her head fall back against the wall of the corridor. Lexie slept soundly on her lap, Lauren's single comfort at the time, the hand that wasn't holding her phone to her ear slowly stroking the kitten's fur absentmindedly as Normani's words rolled inside Lauren's mind.

For a moment, both girls were silent, and Lauren heard nothing but the light purr coming from the kitten and Normani's slow breathing on the other side of the line. Sometimes she wondered what she'd do without her partner – and many times the thought had nothing to do with the police force.

"Okay." She finally said. "I accept your apology, as long as you accept my thanks."

"Wha-"

"No, just-," she sighed before continuing, "I am an asshole. But I don't regret what I did, 'cuz it's for Camila's safety. So thank you for helping me. I just wish I could've gone about it differently."

It was time for Normani to let out a big breath. "Yeah, Laur, me too. Me too."

--//--

"I suck, I fucking suck!" Camila exclaimed as she burst into Shawn's apartment. "I may actually be the worst person to ever walk the Earth."

"Hey, easy there." Camila heard Shawn say behind her, the sound of the door closing following right after.

Camila had her back to her brother, having bolted into Shawn's living room the second he'd opened his front door. Tears marked her cheeks and she didn't even bother to wipe them off, knowing that more would certainly follow.