Lance McClain One Shots: Klance, Shance, Allurance etc.

Hance ^Fluff^

Warning: Panic attacks, extreme self doubt and insecurities. Internalized homophobia and mentions of suicidal tendencies.

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Lance's P.O.V.
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I've always known there was a part of me I've been suppressing my whole life. I secretly hoped it would be an awesome super power or some other insane ability I might've had if this were a Spineless Loser to All Mighty Hero Trope anime.

Nothing could have prepared me for the feelings a single person has been giving me since we were 16. And it doesnt help that if I were to tell said person about said feelings they would immediately reject me: in the nicest way possible because this person is an absolute sweetheart. And even when they reject me, if I ever tell them about my feelings, there really would be no hard feelings because I couldn't for the life of me be mad at him- them, be mad at them. It's not like I'm disgusted by these feelings, if anything it's the complete opposite, I'm proud of these feelings and of who I am but I know that others won't be. I've been picked on and bullied my whole life for one reason or another and I dont need another one, that's why these feeling are going to remain locked deepdeep down into the very bottom of my heart until I feel ready to break open the box they're trapped in because I burned the key to the lock into ashes a long time ago.

Besides, this person has no interest in... people like me, not that there's anything wrong with people like me I just- God no matter how I say I sound like a homophobic douche so maybe I should just come out and say it. Okay. Here it goes.

I am Lance McClain. And I am bisexual.

There, now you'll understand why I'm saying the things I am. Being part of the lgbt+ community is very empowering and I respect everyone apart of it therefore whenever I put myself down due to being part of it, I feel bad about it. Because, I know there are people out there that are members of the community that have had it way worse than me and their struggles put mine to shame.

Which is why I am currently sitting in a forgotten janitors closet on the farthest side of campus away from everyone that I know in order to panic alone. My breathing is harsh and tears stream down my face faster than a waterfall and my nails have dug into the palms of my hands so much they are now caked in blood. I have no control of the shaking that has overtaken my body and I can't stop thinking about all of the horrible outcomes that will surely happen when or if I ever come out to anybody.  Keith will probably pick on me and use that as an excuse to prove that he's just that much better than me yet again. Pidge will probably think I'm gross, Allura will despise me, Romelle wouldn't want to be any where near me. Coran and Shiro will be disappointed, and they will probably hate me forever even though they are the nicest most sweetest person on earth hearing that a disgrace like me is both a bisexual male and has a massive crush on them would make anyone's stomach churn.

At this point I dont even think it's a crush anymore I mean I've liked them for over 5 years. That's a long ass time for just a crush so now I am positive that I am in love with this person and I feel horrible about it. I could never tell them, it would ruin our friendship, his- their view on me: not like that's not already bad, and my chances of ever being with him...

Them.

I mean them.

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Walking home in the rain is always the highlight of my day and seems to be a new habit of mine. I'm not surprised I do love the rain, then again I love anything water which is why I miss home so much more right now. I was born in Cuba and then moved to America when I was around 4 after only a few months though it seemed something had happened to my moms green card and she had to get sent back, therefore we all had to go back. Those few months in America were the first time I met my now long term friends though, Pidge and Keith had been in my pre-school class I didn't talk to them much since I knew little to no English but I spent most of the time watching pidge make weird things out of playdo and forks and had been tripped by Keith one too many times to forget that ugly ass mullet. I didn't meet Hunk.....