Dying in Vain

30

Why should my feelings be valid
When I've felt like a failure for years
Destroyed inside by most of my peers.
I just observe
I don't deserve
People say I'm nice
Well that's not true because I'm just a sacrifice
To those that think they Care
Well they must secretly believe I don't deserve to be here.
The worlds dying
And they seem to be lying
My words they get thicker
And my eyes they seem to flicker
Like a bulb about to burn out
Without a doubt
The sun soon will go out
Be aware
Life is not fair
So why give a fuck
When life is just a delusion
Ready to throw you into hell
And pretend all is well.
I really shouldn't Care
Thats stupid
Why should I be playing cupid
Going downhill
In a place thats no where like Brazil
And yet I'm stuck in a dark place
Ready to go jump off a cliff face.
The dark water churning beneath
My eyes water as I see a reef.
I see eyes reflected there
And I'm no longer there.
Staring in a mirror
Fighting myself as I want to be thinner
I stop eating dinner
And appear to grow thinner.
The light in my eyes growing dimmer.
Fainting everyday
What a great way to feel pain
Such a shame to feel gain
In such a horrible way.
The depression hits
And its hard not to panic
As I fall to the ground.
Darkness surrounds as the demons laugh
The feeling of betrayal leaks in through my skin
And a pin drops from the roof I'm stuck to the ground unable to move.
My throat stops working and my breathing slows down.
I try to keep my head up but I'm going to drown.
The moonlight sneaks in through the window pane
Yet another one is gone yet again.
The knife stares painfully waiting and I grab it eager to escape my mind from the pain.
Such a dark place to be I hope no one is feeling the same way as me.