Never Let You Go (Book Two)

Runny Mascara

Runny Mascara

I take a quick glance at the clock. Its 7.30pm. I'm sitting on the sofa hovering over the phone. My fingertips tense, ready to answer a call from Jesse. What is he gonna say? Will he be ok with my decision? All these uncontrollable questions begin to cram my head.

Just before I have time to think at all, the phone begins to ring.

"That's Jesse I guess." I sigh. Well obviously. Who else would it be?

I raise the phone to my ear. The silence growing around me.

"Hello. Ebony, are you there?"

I feel a lump settle its place in my throat.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Hey, you said you wanted to speak to me?"

I always do. "Uh huh."

"What about hun?"

There's a short pause before I open my mouth to say the one word that will soon be clear.

"Us."

"What do you mean... us?"

"Me and you. Our relationship. Look Jesse..." I swallow and cough calmly to clear my throat. "I can't do this anymore. It's been over two months now, I haven't seen you once and I just-"

"Wait... what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that this is over. We're over."

I scrunch up my eyes in the hope of not letting my emotions get the best of me. 'Too late' I think to myself as a tear starts to trickle down my cheek.

"Ebony. Please don't do this. I love you."

'I love you too Jesse' I say in my head. I just can't bear to say it out loud.

"I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore."

"No wait, don't g-"

I end that heart wrenching conversation, quickly hanging up the phone.

The tears that were filling up my eyes are now at full flow. My hands, uncontrollably shaking with all of these erratic emotions.

"No no no!" I begin to cry out. I lay down on my bed side on. Curling up into a ball, hugging my knees in tight. It feels like my heart is being sucked out through my chest and taken apart piece by piece until there's nothing left. This pain, this rage, this burning sensation inside of me, overwhelms my body. It feels like my heart stops beating, and hurts so much I cry myself to sleep.

"Good morning Sunshine!"

"Uhh, go away." I mumble grabbing a pillow and shoving it ontop of my head.

"Come on Ebony," Begs my mum. "We've got a wedding to go to."

Crap! I forgot! It's my mum's friend's wedding! And I'm a bridesmaid! Great!

We hurrily get ready doing eachothers hair and makeup and my mum helps me slip into my dress. A simple white flowing dress with enwoven lace. She steps back for a second to admire what I look like.

"Awwww. You look beautiful." She puts her hands over her cheeks in amazement. "Oh, Jesse would love to see you in this dress." she squeals with her excited face, looking at me in now more amazement.

As soon as she mentions Jesse, the pain inside of me starts up again. All morning I've tried to block out the memory of what happened last night with Jesse. Or at least put it at the back of my mind for a while. At least until the weddings over. The mention of him simply upsets me more.

"Well he won't be mum. We broke up... I broke up with him."

I look at the floor for a second and then back up at my mum. Her happy excited face has turned to shocked with a mixture of sympathy.

"Why? What happened? I thought you two were love birds that could never be broken apart.

"I thought so too. I don't wanna talk about it. Sorry mum."

"Well sometimes love isn't all that its cut out to be hunny." she says while placing a flower in my hair. She looks at me in the mirror and watches a tear fall down my cheek. She walks over and hugs me from behind. "You do truly love him, don't you."

"Yes."

She strokes my head while I cry on her shoulder. "Everything will work itself out. Don't cry. Things will soon be ok."

I take a deep breath. "I hope so. I really do hope so." I say, softly wiping away the tears, and runny mascara dripping down onto my neck.