I've Seen The Other Side (TomTord)

Chapter 11- Still Broken

Tord's POV:

     A single tear began to roll down my burnt up cheek as I watch Edd, one of the people I cared about, weep into his own hands, and it was all my fault. 

     It broke my already shattered heart, even more, seeing him cry. I desperately wanted to comfort him so badly. I need to do something, I don't want to ever hurt Edd and the others again. My mind started to race as the pressure of guilt weighed down on me, so I began to think of ways to say or do something to help stop Edd from crying. 

     Suddenly, a thought popped into my racing mind, but would it even be possible? But I couldn't bear watching Edd and the others suffer from my terrible actions. With Matt and Tom with their backs turned, attempting to calm down the green hoodied Brit, I took my chance.  With every bit of strength I could muster, I ever so slowly and carefully tried to lift myself up and into a sitting up position in my hospital bed. 

     Unmanageable amounts of burning pain instantly rocketed through my thin body and I inched myself to sit upright. New waves of hot tears formed and rolled down from my silver eye and onto my speckled hospital gown, sitting up was incredibly hard to do. But nothing was harder than to hold back the sobs and screams of pain the bubbled and roared inside me.

     I just wanted to curl up and cry my problems away so badly, but my mind was determined to sit up and get out of this bed. 

     Once in the least painful position I could hold myself in, I slowly rolled the hospital sheets off my still broken body, and inch by inch, I dragged my bruised and thin legs towards the edge of the mattress and over the side of the bed. 

     By this time, I was in so much pain, that it was becoming hard to focus on my breathing, and I was quickly becoming light-headed, but I wouldn't allow myself to be knocked down again. My nimble feet touch the cold tiled floor, my legs trembled greatly, I don't think they'll be able to support me.

     I place my only hand on the sidebars of the bed and force myself to stand up, no matter how great the force of pain inside me is. It seems like forever until I'm able to at least get myself into a hunched standing position. My legs wobbled a bit underneath me as I let go of the sidebars in an attempt to regain the balance I had lost weeks ago. 

     The pain was so great and rushing through me so fast that I accidentally let out a quick sob in the process. Edd must've heard the slight noise I had made because, in an instant, he whipped his head around in my direction to see what was going on. 

     His eyes grew wide when he saw what I was doing, and Matt and Tom both looked in my direction as well, they too, had become quite surprised at the sight. "T-Tord? What are y-you doing?" Frantically question Edd, as he took a step forward to me, but I shook my head slightly to tell him to stop. 

     Edd began to protest, but then shut his mouth, just looking at me with worry and fear. He cautiously took a step back, not wanting to obey my command, both Tom and Matt just stared with at me with awe. 

     I put my bandaged arm out in front of me, trying to grasp the balance I needed, but it was just out of my grasp and I stumbled forward, but I took a small step forward, determination beaming in my remaining eye. 

     With every stumbling step I took, it felt like I was walking on fire, and as if someone was beating me greatly, but my mind was a bit stronger than my body was, so I kept fighting forward. 

     But once I finally neared only a few feet away from the three friends I had betrayed weeks before, my toothpick legs buckled underneath my weight, and I toppled over like a bunch of bricks. 

     I fell forward and braced myself for the intense pain I would soon receive once I hit the cold, hard ground, but I didn't feel the hard ground collide with my body but instead felt something soft catch me before I hit the ground. 

     I did wince in pain though, I held back the tears the threatened to pour out and instead opened up my only eye. Since my vision my facing the floor, I could only see a pair on green sneakers in front of me. I painfully raised up my head only to see a familiar face looking down at me. 

     Edd looked down at me, a single tear of his splashed oh so lightly on my cheek. "Tord... w-what are y-you d-doing? You're a-already hurt... I-I... don't need y-you get more b-broken than y-you already are..." Protested Edd, lifting me up gently so I could face him. 

     Matt looked at me with a broken expression, and Tom looked at me with the slightest bit of concern. Why would he, out of all the people in the world, be concerned about me? I internally shrug it off and think that it was only my burning eye playing tricks on me. 

     A weak smile crept up on my face as I turned my attention back to Edd, his chocolate brown eyes reflected the ugly image of myself back at me. 

     Guilt filled me up to the brim of my mind, and I could feel more tears coming on shortly. I painfully forced myself out of Edd's gentle grip and carefully stood up properly.  "S-Some things... are... w-worth breaking... f-for..." I whispered, and in return, Edd looked at me with sympathy as he took a small step forward. 

     He then lifted his arms out slightly to me and took another step forward. I braced myself for whatever terrible thing Edd was about to do, but instead opened up my eye again to see Edd wrapped around me in a gentle hug.  

     A small gasp escaped from my mouth as I was pulled into a comforting hug. I felt the safety and warmth I had longed for in months wrap around me. 

     Without warning, a new wave of tears brust out from me, and I sobbed greatly into Edd's shoulder, gripping his hoodie as I continued to cry heavly. In the moments I cried and cried, I could hear Matt walked over and wrap his long arms around both me and Edd and squeezed us both gently into a hug as well, trying not to hurt either me or Edd.

     Minutes had passed,  and I had secretly and slowly caught a glance at Tom, who stood in the distance, a scowl sprawled across his face. He noticed I was looking at him in secret so he quickly shot me the coldest and most sour look with his pitch black 'eyes'. 

     A sick feeling formed in my thin stomach as memories  flooded my mind about all the terrible things I had done in the past. Tom scoffed and looked away at me, leaving me to wallow in shame.