𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞?! | 𝐤𝐧𝐣 𝐱 𝐛𝐭𝐬

sixteen

⚠️ this chapter will contain mentions of suicide and will contain self harm⚠️

"He probably h-hates me now!", Namjoon said between sobs.

"He doesn't hate you baby, I promise!" Yoongi said as he comforted the now sobbing Namjoon.

After Jimin pushed Namjoon, Namjoon starte crying saying how Jimin probably hates him now.

"No! I'm so fucking stupid! I should have never told you guys anything about me being a little! Jimin would be so much fucking happier and less fucking jealous if I hadn't told you guys anything for gosh fucking sake! I fucking hate myself so fucking much! Fucking stupid Namjoon.", Namjoon said as hit his head really hard against the wall.

"Namjoon sto-", Yoongi tried to stop Namjoon only to be cut off by Namjoon.

"No shut the fuck up! Forget about me ever being a fucking little! I'm fucking done with everything!", and with that Namjoon ran up the stairs and into his room.

"I'm so fucking stupid!", Namjoon said as he punched the wall.

"I don't want to be a fucking little anymore! You know what fuck it I'm not gonna go into little space anymore no matter how much it hurts me! Maybe that way my dumbass self will stop hurting people!", Namjoon said as he pulled his hair almost managing to pull out his hair.

Namjoon then walked to his closet and took out all of the baby clothes or any clothes that he bought as a little and grabbed scissors and began to cut them all to little pieces. He got all his Ryan plushies and stuffed them in the trash, he couldnt bare to rip all of them up but pulled himself together enough to get rid of them in a different way. So he stuffed them in the can he had in his room, and the left overs he put under his bed. He did the same with anything that would make him feel little in any type of way.

Namjoon decided to lock him self in his room and not come out until he was ready too.

Namjoon was still angry and he wanted to take this pain away, and his anger out on himself so he did the only thing he could think of.

⚠️self harm starts here⚠️

Namjoon went into his bathroom and grabbed a razor. He stood in front of the sink and mirror. He looked at his reflection and had so many bad thoughts about himself. "Why am I so ugly ?" "Why am I so fat ?" "Why can't I be cute like the others ?" "I just want to kill myself up at this point.", Namjoon said out loud, cutting for every complaint he said. "I'll give myself 12 cuts. 1 for being ugly, 2 for being mean, 3 for not being a good leader, 4 for being such a bad little, 5 for not being cute like the others, 6 for making Jimin mad, 7 for ever existing, 8 for being such a bad son, 9 for being such a bad rapper/singer, 10 for being such a bad dancer, and last 11 and 12 just for the fun of it." Namjoon said and with every count he cut his soft beautiful skin with the razor, blood oozing out and Namjoon ignored it and cleaned up the mess he made.

He made sure to put on a couple bandages on his cut and put on sweatpants and a simple sweater.

After this exhausting day Namjoon went to sleep, more like fainted onto his bed.

[ᴇᴅɪᴛᴇᴅ]
Yo this was sad to edit yall (　；∀；)
R-