Childs Play

She makes me want to die

I opened the e-mail account slowly, drumming my fingers on the bare wooden tabletop in Starbucks. I took a sip of the coffee I couldn't afford, but whatever. I had a gift card, so therefore it was free. The smell of coffee beans and vanilla flavouring wafted past my nose, fogging up the window next to me. My old laptop wheezed to a halt as the emails slowly appeared on the screen.

To: AKates@yahoo.com

From: Mitch.K@gmail.com

Subject: Just read it!

Arsenic.

First of all, why the hell would you changer your name to that? Its a poison.

Second, about your.... Employment, situation. You said anything right? Well, even with your experience this is pretty low.

Just check it out.

Lone 'N Shit,

Your bro Mitch.

I sighed and clicked the pdf file he sent along with it. I rolled my eyes, staring at the new paper add he had photographed. the classifieds were not his usual read (He didn't usually read at all) and he had obviously gone out of his way to find it for me.

"Looking for a daily nanny, preferably one with epic geek out abilities.

Needs to be willing to cook, clean, and go hunting for vampire cowboys

Food and board will be provided, as long as you do not mind a four

year old with nightmares"

Below it was a number, a name and an email address. I grinned before hitting reply and starting an email to my clown of an older brother.

To: Mitch.K@gmail.com

From: AKates@yahoo.com

Subject: I'll humour you....

**********

We managed to put him to bed before seven, that was pretty impressive.

"Jesus Mikey. Can't wait until I get that new babysitter. I've got like three interviews scheduled tomorrow." I said, throwing myself on the couch. I shoved a couple of Lego's on the floor with my feet. Wiggling my toes I welcomed Mikey over next to me.

"Wheres Frank when you need him Gee? Or Ray? Hell, even Bob!" He said, collapsing next to me. He straightened his glasses with a sniff and looked pitifully over at me, "I'd love to satay- wait no, I love you guys but dude this is your kid, Not mine. I'm out of here."

With that, mikey shot up and left the house without so much as a goodbye. I groaned and rolled over, falling asleep with my face pressed into a cowboy hat.

************

"Daddy! Daddy!! I wanna go pway!" The child's scream echoed in my ear, his tiny hands shaking my shoulders with enough force to knock over the side table.

"Hold on V. I'll be up in a minute!" I groaned. He stood back and crossed his arms as I opened my eyes. The sunlight poured in faintly through the curtains, telling me it couldn't be passed seven.

"But I want to go NOW!" He whinned, scrunching up his face in a pout. I sighed and sat up, stetching and yawning.

"Not right now buddy. After breakfast."

"But-"

"AFTER Breakfast Kellen," I gave him my best Don't-mess-with-daddy look and he hissed, stomping away in his dinosaur slippers. The mention of his really name was always a sign of daddy's irritability and he had learned long ago not to press any further.

I looked at the clock and stared. Our curtains must have been pretty thick, it was already half passed ten. The T.V turned on in the other room and I could hear the voices of children's cartoon characters penetrate the apartment walls.

The way I saw it I could take a shower, get dressed, and have the house half presentable by the time the first interveiw started.

Then the doorbell rang.

So, that's how it was. The first interviewee came in and walked around. Her nose was raised like there was something putrid in the air that no one else could smell (Highly possible after all) and muttered something about satin worshipping pigs at my movie collection. The next few inter views were similar, save the one incredibly creepy and fruity man that kept sneaking awkward glances at my son.

The last interview of the day was five minutes off when I finally collapsed on my bed, desperate for some form of relaxation. My eyes were only closed for a second before I felt two grubby and sticky little hands pulling at my arms and hair.

"Daddy!!! The wadies here!" My son yelled, jumping up and down excitedly. I opened my eyes and sat up, staring at the doorway, where a young woman stood.

She was standing with her eyebrows raised, as if suspecting the amount of exhaustion I had in my system. Her eyes, a striking teal, flickered to Kellen and then back to me before shaking her head slightly. Dropping down onto one knee she gave him a small smile and stuck her hand out towards him.

"Hi, whats your name?" She asked, A mock excitement in her thoughtful soprano.

"Vladimir!" Kellen hissed, baring his teeth and jumping in front of her. She smiled as he ran out of the room, throwing his batman cape behind him.

"That was Kellen, he loves being called Vladimir. we share the um, vampire obsession," I said, gesturing wildly around the room. She took careful note of my many horror movie and comic book posters before grinning. I ran my hand through my hair and stuck it out, helping her up, "I'm Gerard Way."

"Arsenic Kates." She said curtly, putting her hand out for me to take.

I led her out of the bedroom, taking careful note of everything from her patched laptop bag to her slightly curled and dark mahogany hair. I led her around, smiling as she laughed at my stupid jokes and crawled around the living room with Kellen, looking for his lost Lego ship.

"So yeah, this is your room I guess. I mean, if you need it..." I said, opening the door to the bedroom in the back. She smiled and laughed.

"So that's it? I got the job?" She asked, he voice rising slightly. Her hand twitched to her laptop at her side and I grinned.

"Yeah, you were the only one that didn't either get angry about my 'satanic music' or sneak pedophile glances at V" I said. She nodded and stepped in, "So um.. yeah. I'm exhausted so i'm going to bed, sorry to leave you hanging like this. There's a spare key on top of the fridge if you need to go get something for the night."

"My brother wont give me a key to his place, and he's probably in bed by now. I'll get my stuff tomorrow." She shrugged and laid down on the bed.

"You're sleeping in your day clothes?" I asked, cocking and eyebrow, "You want to borrow something of mine? I have few old t-shirts and some extra pajama pants..."

"I'm fine Mr. Way."

"Gerard, or Gee. Whatever works but you are not sleeping in those jeans. C'mon" I grabbed her hand and dragged her into the living room.

I ran into my my room and dug out the old superman pajamas and a paint stained shirt. Dashing back out I threw them at her, "Keep 'em, they'll still be in the house."

She nodded and smiled before turning back into the bedroom.