Until Jesus came

Chapter ten***

JESUS!

That's what he did at the cross for you and me.

You loved me in spite of me.

What you did for me at Calvary. No man would've done.

Buddha couldn't do it for you Confucious couldn't do it either. -Shekinah Glory

Innocence ripped away from me, Soreness stinging between my legs, my eyes were in the air not daring to envision the damage they did, My ripped clothes were scattered across the floor.

Wriggling around in a puddle of tears mixed with blood. Childhood taken away from me, the only trace of purity washed away from my feet.

Being passed on over and over again, when I thought that this hell would be over it would bulge out again. They left victorious and I didn't dare to move.

"Jesus loves me, This I know... For the bible tells me so" I sang in an attempt to comfort myself.

"Little ones to him belong... they're weak, but he's strong" I almost yell.

"Yes, Jesus loves me!, Oh yeah-" I cut myself off by putting my nails on my head and aggressively pulling my hair while crying.

"Jesus doesn't love me, Where were you Jesus?" I yelled at the ceiling, I stood up from the bed, started gathering my clothes, the realization hit me.

I had no dignity anymore.

"You were amazing, baby" Jason said while snaking his arms around my waist.

"I didn't know that you were a virgin" His hot breath burning in my neck, caused me to re-live it over and over again.

"So the rumors weren't true" Tears blinded me again and I started to move quite uncomfortable, he must've noticed it, because he started laughing deviously.

"Please Jason, let me go" He pinched me.

"Why, you love attention, right?" he said in a whining tone.

"Please Jason, let me go!" I almost yelled at him. He slapped his hands on my mouth, this was my cue to yell and panic and so I did, what triggered him to grab my troth.

"Stupid bi-"... One of the guys stormed in. He scowled at Jason and he finally let go of me.

"Jason, it's enough, you had your fun" Jason grinned wickedly.

"I had my fun?, don't tell me that you didn't enjoy it" He said with a devious grin on face, Jason laughed victoriously when The guy started staring at his feet and gestured him to go out of the room, when he refused to leave Jason pushed him, the guy punched him a good one and then they were literally rolling over the floor, I stood there as a bag of potatoes. Until the guy glared at me.

"Are you for real Mara?, grab your clothes and leave"
I nodded, mouthed a quick thank you and realized that I had to leave quickly. I rushed into the bathroom, jumped under the shower for a few minutes and after wearing my clothes I hurried to the front door and a loud shriek escaped my mouth as I saw the other guy in front of me, completely naked.

"Where are you going, beautiful" he said with a devious grin, on his face.

"I'm leaving" I stated flatly, he gave me a good one across my face and spat.

"Baby don't act tough, last night you were screaming and begging me to stop" I looked away and he laughed.

"This is how I want you to kitten, now leave I would do you again, but I'm tired and don't forget me kitten" he said with an evil smile. I opened the door and ran out of the house, in the fear that he would change his mind.

"Oh and baby" he said while standing shamelessly in the doorway.

"What" I said trough gritted teeth

"you're so amazing, especially on the video" he said while slamming the door, I ran back to the door and slammed my fist against the door a few times, but he didn't opened the door, I gave up and started the long walk to my aunt's house. My mother once told me that we shouldn't blame God for anything and that we should thank him, for bringing us through trial and turbelation and that everytime we come in bad situations, that we shouldn't be sad about it, because your greater is coming.

I reached my aunt's house and hesitated a few seconds before ringing the bell, my aunt opened the door and she granted me a devious smile, I swallowed to get past the lump forming in my troath.

"What do you want" She asked flatly, I couldn't sense any emotion in her voice, She slammed the door in my face and I dragged myself to the only place I knew that was left.

The Cliffs.

When I reached the cliffs I dropped myself down on the cold, wet grass and closed my eyes. I must've been really tired, because I fell asleep almost instantly.

I dreamed of my father, When I was twelve my father, brought me to the cliffs and he told me that I should never think of commiting suicide, because i'll only reach hell and wander on the earth, these words keep on spooking in my head and drove me crazy. My ringing cellphone caused me to wake up. Jade called, my archenemy what did she want.

"What do you want, Jade" She laughed and I had an itching urge to hang up.

"i just wanted to inform you, that I saw your little video on Facebook, Girl you're famous"

"What" anger and fear evident in my voice.

"How you worked Jason and his two friends, girl your video want viral... So the rumours were true" she mocked.

"Bye Jade"... "Why, because the truth hurts" She said deviously and then she hung up. Tears were now spilling out of my eyes and my heart fell numb as I stood up and went to stand before the cliffs and tears now blinded me.

"I'm sorry auntie, I'm sorry Mama, I'm sorry Samuel and I'm sorry Dad" I closed my eyes and I thought about all the good things that had happened in my life. All the praise dance recitals, all the choir practices and all the sleepovers. My mom and dad while they were still happy and the church being my second home if there was nobody in my house. The time when Jesus was everybody to me and the time that my family was still a family.

When I was done, I closed my eyes and jumped.

Then everything became black.