Puella Magi Schizo-Magica (PMMM fan adaptation)

"I Was Stupid... So Stupid..."

Lillyan: I couldn't convince them, could I?...

Kyubey: Doesn't seem like it. But, I wouldn't really blame them. If I were a Magical Girl like them, I might blame me, too. So, how's your book report coming along?

Lillyan: So-so. Whenever I read about this kind of thing, I get a weird feeling in my gut. Like I'm there myself, but the pain is missing...

Kyubey: Well, I suppose I could fix that for you.

Lillyan: Wait, no— AHHGH!

*Kyubey places his paw on my Soul Gem; I scream bloody murder as my body simulates the pain of childbirth*

Lillyan: K-...Kyubey... Why?... AH!

*Kyubey removes his paw; the pain subsides*

Kyubey: I was only trying to satisfy your bodily cravings. Did you really think I'd leave you like that?

Lillyan: *panting* ... But you left Sayaka like that... I completely forgot... All she wanted to do was help people, and she thinks you turned her into a monster...

Kyubey: At this point, I'm okay with that. Until we change the ultimate fate of Magical Girls, I don't care how anyone else views me.

Lillyan: You're sure about that? You're sure you're not hiding behind that mask of yours? I think you are... And it matches your face, just like mine; just like everyone else's... *creepy giggling*

Kyoko: {Hey, dummy! How much longer ya gonna stay inside?}

Lillyan: —! *runs towards window*

Kyoko: {Can you come out here a sec? We need to talk.}

*I leave the house; Kyoko leads Sayaka and I to a run-down chapel*

Sayaka: You brought us all the way out here just to talk?...

Kyoko: Yup. We've got a lot  to talk about. Wanna know where we are? It's my dad's church. He was an honest man, but a bit too nice. He was the kind of guy who would tear up when he read the newspaper every morning, 'cause he couldn't figure out how to make things better. He understood that religion wasn't supposed to make sense in today's world, so one day, instead of preaching the sermon his boss wrote for him, he read it right out of the Bible. But, people got upset and stopped coming; the church kicked him out and after that, nobody cared about what he had to say...

Lillyan: Then Kyubey came along, right?

Kyubey: Right. 'Cuz it didn't make sense. My dad wasn't doing or saying anything wrong, it was just different from what everyone was used to hearing. So, like an idiot, I made my wish. I wanted everyone to listen to my dad and take the stuff that he was saying seriously. The next day, they all came back. Every week, there were more and more people coming to hear him preach! And me? I started doing the Magical Girl thing.

Lillyan: Guess you would've made quite the team, fighting to change the world. But... did he ever find out?

Kyoko: Actually, yeah. And he called me a witch... Can you believe that? I'm out there fighting Witches every day, and he calls me, his own daughter, an evil witch who corrupted his flock! After that, he broke down. Took the rest of the family, and I found them dead on the river bank on the city border two days later... My selfless wish destroyed my family... So right then and there, I promised myself I'd never use magic to help anyone else, ever again...

Sayaka: So I guess miracles aren't free... If you wish for something good to happen, a whole lot of bad stuff's gonna happen, too...

Lillyan: Geez, what's with you, Sayaka?

*Sayaka breaks down, crying into my shoulder*

Sayaka: I'm going to lose Kyousuke to Hitomi... and there's nothing I can do about it! Not when I'm like this! I can't ask him to hold me if I can't feel his warmth... I can't ever ask him to kiss me...

*Sayaka continues to ramble as we leave; I turn and mouth "Go me nasai" to Kyoko*

That night...

Homura: You two are the last I'd expect to just sit and watch.

Kyoko: Tonight's the real deal. If she beats this Witch, she'll get a Grief Seed out of it.

???: {And you know what she'll do with it then. Or rather, what she won't...}

Lillyan: —! D'Arvit!

*I transform and charge into Elsa Maria's Labyrinth, watching Sayaka violently dismember the Witch*

Sayaka: *laughing maniacally* It's true! I can block out the pain! I DON'T FEEL ANY PAIN ANYMORE!

A few days later...

Sayaka: For all the happiness you wish for someone, someone else gets cursed with equal misery. That's how it works for Magical Girls, and that's how it is for me.

Lillyan: (I know I should be intervening, but Oktavia's my favorite Witch in the show...)

???: {Yes, give in to your humanity...}

Sayaka: I was stupid... so stupid...

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???: On this planet, we call females who have yet to become adults "girls." So it makes sense that, having yet to become Witches, we should be called "Magical Girls"...