I Die Without You

Prompt 3: Triangle

After lunch, Loki returned to continue his assigned duties for the day.  He found it quite a relief to take his leave from Thor and Blitz. 

Learning that Blitz was with Thor while visiting with Beverlee caused Loki to feel very anxious, and it left him wondering what he was doing there when Beverlee expressly wanted to see his brother. He couldn't bring himself to ask, because he was not prepared for an answer he did not want to hear. 

If Blitz had been a fellow warrior on Asgard, with his dashing good looks, he surmised both Fandral and he would be in constant competition with the fair nubile maidens of the Royal Court - and those outside of it. If, that is, Thor wasn't involved or interested.

Was Beverlee interested in Blitz? The first and last time he had a conversation related to this was at the multicultural holiday party, and she assured him in no uncertain terms she was not. But that was months ago.  Could he actually have done something so wrong that would push her into Blitz's arms?  

No. Beverlee's not like that.  

She's too demure to create such a love triangle...   

Then why did she call on Thor instead of me?

I have to trust her, there has to be a reason for this...

Still... could I have done something I'm not aware of to cause this?

"LOKI!" a voice called out, breaking him out of his reverie.

It was Sasha, one of the Initiative team members. Loki and she were in the gym sparring with rattan sticks. 

"What?" Loki asked, sounding annoyed.

"Your head is not in the game," Sasha said, "I almost hurt you."

"No, you wouldn't..." he said quietly, "it takes a lot to... hurt me." he dropped the stick and walked away from the mat and over to a weight bench. He sat down heavily with elbows on his knees, and his face in his hands.  

Sasha walked over and sat down beside him. Without a word, she gently put a hand on his shoulder. 

She remained like that, silently, until Loki realized she wasn't making any attempt to leave. Taking his hands away from his face, he looked at Sasha. The expression on her face was not judgemental, it was simply one of concern. 

"This is about Beverlee, isn't it?" she asked matter-of-factly, "she's the only one who could affect you this way."

"It is," Loki said, feeling vulnerable. Just admitting that to Sasha made his heart hurt, "I have to talk to her."

"Don't you both have plans for Valentine's Day?"

"Yes," he whispered, "but I don't think this can't wait."

Sasha stood up, and stretched out her hand, "I think we've had enough sparring for the day. Let's grab a tea and head to Room Thirty-Six to talk."

Talking to someone else who wasn't Beverlee?

Room Thirty-Six and the memories he had with her inside that complex... 

He was now shaking. He instinctively hugged his chest - then began to quietly weep.

"Hey," Sasha said, "it's okay," she gently put her hand on his upper arm, "I don't know what's going on, and you don't have to tell me, but let's go to see Doctor Lowenstein, okay?"

Lowenstein. Yes, Loki thought, he would understand, he would help...

Using the heel of his hand to wipe away his tears, he nodded to Sasha.

****

Sasha escorted Loki to the Med Centre, where Doctor Tom Lowenstein's office was located. He was the Chief Medical Officer for the facility and for the Initiative.  

Checking in with the nurse, Sasha explained that Loki wasn't feeling okay, and it was imperative that he see Dr. Lowenstein.  The nurse took one look at Loki and understood. She then told them to take a seat in the waiting area.

"Thank you, Sasha," Loki said, his voice barely a whisper.

"It's nothing you wouldn't do for me," Sasha said, with a sympathetic smile, "we're a team, and the team takes care of each other. And that includes taking care of you... that is, when Beverlee isn't available to take on that burden for us," she giggled.

"I-I'm not really a burden, am I?" he asked in a shaky voice.

"Of course not," Sasha said, aghast, "oh, Loki, that was a dreadful thing for me to say while you're upset. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Loki said, looking at her, and patting her hand, "I know you didn't mean it that way."

 The nurse then came to take Loki to Lowenstein's office.

****

Seeing the state of distress that Loki was in, Lowenstein directed him over to his couch instead of the chairs by his desk. Getting him to lie down, he placed one of the throw pillows under Loki's head. 

"I'm sorry you're having a difficult day, Loki," Lowenstein said, "it was good of Sasha to bring you here. It's the best place you could be right now."  

Lowenstein pulled up a chair from his desk over to the couch, but before sitting down, prepared a cup of tea for his patient, and placed it on the coffee table where it was easy to reach.

"Just breathe," Lowenstein said, "and take your time. I don't have any appointments for the rest of the day.  So when you're ready, we can talk." 

Suddenly Lowenstein heard Loki chuckle.

"Loki, what's so funny?" he asked.

"This IS a comfortable couch," he said, chuckling again. 

Lowenstein couldn't help but chuckle himself, now understanding to what Loki was referring. The time when Beverlee had the choice to sleep on this couch or stay in the Med Centre ward with Loki.

"Yes," Lowenstein said, "and she missed that opportunity to find out because... she wanted to make sure someone was properly getting the care they needed." 

 "Yes," Loki said quietly, a small smile now on his face.

"What's this all about, Loki?"

"It's about... Beverlee."

"I suspected as much," he placed a careful hand on Loki's arm, "you know you can speak freely. Like Vegas, what's said in here stays in here. Tell me about Beverlee and what's happened to make you feel this way."  

Loki explained everything, starting from the nightmare to what Thor and Blitz said at lunch.

"And you think Beverlee is trying to find a way to break it to you that she wants to be with Blitz?"

Loki sadly nodded.

"It's not a very professional thing for me to say, but that's complete rubbish," Lowenstein said, "Loki, Beverlee has a special affinity for you, and I have never seen that change," he thought for a moment, then continued, "do you really think if she was having a problem with you she'd immediately contact Thor or Blitz? No. She would talk to you first. And if that didn't produce the right results, she's come to me next for advice. Trust me, Thor isn't the one she'd go to first or at all for something like that."

"Then for what reason?"

"I don't know, Loki, and speculating won't solve this. Let's get to the heart of the matter. I'm going to contact Beverlee, and bring her here."

Loki smiled with utter happiness at Lowenstein.

That was all he wanted in the first place.