I Die Without You

Prompt 4: Pick Your Poison

Loki was relieved that Doctor Lowenstein was going to contact Beverlee so he could get the answers he needed. 

Apparently, it didn't take long to make contact with her. However, Lowenstein learned she wouldn't be able to arrive at the facility for about an hour. 

Lowenstein told Loki to remain on the couch and rest until Beverlee showed up, and in the meantime would quietly work at his desk until she did so.  

Loki was actually grateful to the doctor for allowing him to stay put on the couch. It truly had been a difficult day, and his emotional breakdown had made him quite tired.  He had to agree that this office, as Lowenstein said, was the best place to be right now.

Loki allowed himself to close his eyes and fall asleep...

****

"Brother," Thor said, "I need to talk to you about Beverlee."

"One of my favourite subjects," Loki said with a soft smile, "what is it specifically about her that you wish to discuss?"

"You must realize that you're not worthy of her attention."

"Wh-what...?!" Loki said, taken aback.

"Tell me, Loki, what is it that you have to offer her?"

"Myself and all that I have. She seems to have no complaints."

"That is only because she has connections at SHIELD. She also has me and the powers of Doctor Strange, to help port her or you over to see each other," Thor looked hard at Loki, "Beverlee opens up her home to you and takes you out to venues of entertainment. What do you really do for her, Loki, what do you actually offer? The way I see it, she's a glorified babysitter who also drops everything to run to your side when you can't pick up the pieces."

"That's... that's not... true!" Loki said, stammering, "she's more than that... I-I'm more than that... I care for her, I protect her!"

"How are you protecting her, when everyone else is already doing that job for you? Especially when we go on assignment?"  

"You're right, he really is the worst brother," Beverlee said, walking out of the shadows and standing next to Thor.

"Beverlee?!" Loki said, breathless in shock. 

"Odin might have been the worst father," she said, "but he knew who the rightful King of Asgard should be..."  

"But I-I never wanted the throne..." Loki began to say.

"Yes, yes, yes, you only wanted to be Thor's equal," Beverlee cut him off,  "well clearly I can see that you're not. You never were and it seems to me, you never will."

"Beverlee, shall we play 'Pick Your Poison?'" Thor asked, "would you rather stay here with Loki, a pathetic runt of a Frost Giant or... leave with me, the God of Thunder?" 

"Let's go," Beverlee said matter-of-fact, taking Thor's hand.

"Beverlee, Thor, please!" Loki begged as he saw them begin to walk away from him, "come back, don't leave me... please!"

****

Loki awoke trembling and sat up bolt upright on the couch.  He had been so affected by this new nightmare, it took him an extra moment to notice that someone else was sitting on the couch with him. 

It was her. 

Beverlee. 

Was he awake or still stuck in this nightmare?

Loki could see that Doctor Lowenstein was working at his desk. He must have arranged that when Beverlee arrived to bring her in right away and give them space to get reacquainted -  but also stay close by if needed.  

This Beverlee didn't look like the one he had seen in the nightmares.  She was sitting quietly and looking at him with an expression of genuine concern.  

He was about to say something, but then saw her put a finger to her lips,  making the gesture for him to remain quiet.

She carefully reached up to touch his cheek - but Loki shrank from her touch, recalling what had happened in his first nightmare.

Beverlee's expression of concern instantly turned to worry. The worry was not so much about being rejected, but rather about the reason why he rejected her. 

Instead of taking her hand back, she looked at it, thought for a moment, then lowered it a little. She turned her wrist to have her hand palm up and open - giving Loki the opportunity to decide how he wanted to proceed. 

Loki looked at her hand, then looked at her face, then again at her hand. It also looked like she wasn't moving her hand away anytime soon.

Slowly, carefully, he reached out and grasped her hand.

With her other hand, Beverlee slowly moved Loki's grasping hand to be able to have his thumb make contact with her inner wrist - to feel her pulse.  

Loki looked at Beverlee with a small smile, happy to know she remembered this small gesture he initially performed when they first met at this facility. 

Then he braved his own gesture towards her, with his other hand he reached up, towards Beverlee's forehead. He looked into her eyes and held her gaze for a moment, silently asking.

She nodded without hesitation. 

He touched her forehead with his fingers, and she felt a small jolt. The sensation was very difficult to describe, but it did not cause her any discomfort. After a few seconds, he took his hand away, and his eyes were glistening with that odd moisture that was not tears. 

This was Beverlee. The Beverlee he knew. 

My Beverlee...

Releasing the hand he had grasped with his, he slowly moved toward her, his arms reaching around her waist, resting his head against her shoulder. 

Beverlee's arms wrapped around Loki in a warm and secure embrace. 

He was safe.

He could finally allow himself to release his pent-up frustration and fear - and shook like a leaf in her arms.  Beverlee stroked his back, gently shushing him, soothing him - it didn't take long for him to start feeling better. He soon could feel himself regaining his strength and his breathing was returning to normal. 
 
My Beverlee...

Both of them remained silent for a time, continuing to hold each other, enjoying just being together. 

Beverlee lightly kissed Loki's forehead and intensified her embrace.

"I'm so sorry...." Loki whispered. 

"Shhh," Beverlee whispered back, "just start at the beginning."

Loki looked up at her. A small smile teased his lips. 

"I-I had this nightmare..." he began.