Too Good to Be Real

chapter 16

Life

A nickname for sadism.

How would life give you lemons, watch you make lemonade, just to spill it on your face when you're done.

That day. It was by far the worst day of her life. Even worse than the day she'd discovered she was pregnant.
Worse than the day Dan had left her.

Phil came into her life, messed it up, patched it back up and just when she let herself depend on him, he left it just as he'd met it. Empty.

She'd rushed to the hospital immediately after Nia called her, her heart pounding all the way. Her mind went places she didn't want it to go. What if he was...
No. It couldn't be. Nia wouldn't have told her to come to the hospital, would she?

She was dropped at the all too familiar hospital. The same hospital her mother had threatened to sue two years ago. The same hospital her mother had made their family hospital.

"Mummy. I'm here. Where exactly are you people?" She said as quietly as she could on the phone.

She found the room pretty quickly. A nurse led her in. She saw Phil. He was on the bed. But this time, there were no tubes attached to him as there should have been. He was just there. Covered in white. Maybe he didn't need the tubes anymore...

All hopes Oma had dissolved when her mother immediately broke down. "I'm sorry. The doctor said there's nothing they could do. If I'd arrived earlier. If he'd shown signs. There was nothing Oma, nothing!"
This woman was crazy. Oma smiled. Then she walked over to her son and stroked his hair like she usually did every morning. His hair was just like hers, a little softer. She kissed his forehead. It was cold.

"He's cold." She said quietly. "Why didn't you people cover him." She wrapped more of the hospital sheet over her son.

"Oma he's dead!" Nia screamed. "Please stop this." She rushed to her side. But Oma pushed her away.

"I'm sorry. I know this is hard to take in, but your mother is right. He's dead. The morgue people will soon come to take him, unless you want him transferred to another morgue. If it makes you feel any better, he didn't suffer before he died. It was a very peaceful transition." The doctor who none of the women had noticed come in, quietly said. Oma walked up to him.

"You killed my son." She whispered, dragging his collar. "You killed Phil!"

"I understand how you feel. I'm sorry but there was nothing we could do. The boy wanted to die. He didn't fight it."

"Maybe I want to die too." Oma said, laying on the ground.

Nia cried. It was a silent cry. She couldn't help thinking that somehow all of this was her fault. Now her daughter had gone crazy because of her.

"Stop being irrational. You'll get over..."

"Leave me alone!"

***

Therapy after therapy session yielded the same result. Nothing. She was getting worse. Why hadn't he just died in her stomach. Why did he let her get used to him before leaving. He was just like his dad.

Nia tried all she could. She mellowed her travelling and decided to work from home for now so she could spend as much time as she could with her daughter. She was afraid she could hurt herself.

Oma was nothing but a shadow of herself. She was back to square one. When she was alone and freshly scarred from a close one's death. She couldn't sleep. Phil was in all her dreams. Sometimes crying, sometimes begging her to let him go.
Maybe the doctor was right. He wanted to die. He'd told her goodbye that day. But why?

"You have to start school soon. You've missed three months Oma. At least start next year, January?
Nia said.

It was always about school with Nia. But she was right. She was slowly killing herself at home. She couldn't speak, couldn't sleep. She was killing both of them.

***

Days turned into weeks and weeks morphed into months. The silence haunted her. She'd grown so accustomed to Phil. His babbling, his laughter, his crying. The house was never this quiet, unless he was asleep.

Now it was almost time to leave for school. On normal occasions, she'd have been exited, nervous even but this time she wasn't even bothered in the least. Her admission to the university of Abuja had come long ago and she'd accepted it. By some stroke of luck, it was still available months later.

Nia had decided to let her go to a federal university, stating the fact that she'd not let her have freedom all her life and wanted to change that. Oma who just wanted her mother to get everything over with, nodded her approval unmoved.

Nia escorted her to her dorm, after having paid to have part of her registration covered. It was one of the new and special ones where only two people or occasionally one student had a room. It was in a large building, with a lot of rooms on the inside. She located her dorm number and knocked on the door. Someone was already there. Her roommate. Her blood ran cold. She wasn't ready to mingle with anyone yet and sharing a room with someone meant she'd dress up in front of them, talk to them and see them everyday. It scared her.

"It's okay." Nia whispered from behind her.

The hallways were dirty and a little too crowded. The spaces between the doors of each room were clear indications of their small size.

The door opened immediately and a cute muscular man with braided hair stood behind it. What was a man doing in her dorm!

"Good afternoon ma. I'm Asa." The 'man' said excitedly, shaking Nia's hands. His voice was really feminine. And the name. Whoever named her Asa which meant beauty really had hopes. Asa turned to her. "And I'm guessing you're my new roommate. It's nice to meet you. This room is really boring when you're alone." Asa laughed. "Come in."

"This is my bed." Asa said pointing to a bed littered with bras and pants and makeup. "And this is yours. I was wondering when you'd ever come."

"You're a girl?" Oma asked without thinking.

"Oma!" Her mother chastised her while Asa who Oma had just realized was female laughed.

"It's okay. I get that all the time. Make yourself at home."

After bidding goodbye to her mother, she set to work on the task of arranging her things. It wasn't difficult. Putting things together was her specialty, the perks of having a child. A lump rose to her throat. She had to stop thinking of him.

"Hey." Asa said, waving. "Oma right?"

"Yes."she said turning. "And you're Asa. Nice name."

"Thank you. So what are you studying?"

"French."

"Wow. Efemé la fudantè." Asa said

"You speak French?"

"Nope. I just made that up." Asa said and they both laughed.

"What about you? What do you study?"

"Sports. Sports science. And before you ask, yes it's a real course in this school and I'm not joking." Asa said, still.
"You're going to love it here. I guarantee."

***

So I'm going through this novel that's been in my draft for years and I realized her son only lasted one chapter. I admit that's very lazy writing of mine.

Phil, wherever you are, I'm sorry.
You deserved more.

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