requests are closed ! ➶
imagines and reactions (and other stuff i come up with) of our ateez members; hongjoong, seonghwa, yunho, yeosang, san, mingi, wooyoung, and jongho ! ➶
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drabble |seonghwa - you'll feel these hand again| 190204
"my fingertips are freezing, but i'll keep on believing that you'll feel these hands again."
*includes heavy topics so if you are sensitive to implied self-harm, please don't read, thank you*
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you entered the hospital, thanking god that you made it on time before visitor hours ended. you only had 30 minutes, but that was enough time to see him. even a second with him was enough for you. you hand were sweaty as you held the daisies in your hand, making your way to his hospital room; room 223.
you knocked lightly before entering, seeing seonghwa asleep on the bed, iv drip connected to his arm. he looked so... unlike seonghwa. the seonghwa you knew had golden honey skin, bright eyes, and the most beautiful smile you've ever seen. this, whoever he was laying in the bed, wasn't seonghwa. this seonghwa was pale, with chapped lips, chest rising and falling unevenly and you tried not to break down at the sight. you promised yourself that you would be strong for him.
placing the flowers on the side table, you pulled a chair to his bed, just staring at him. your entire world stopped once yunho called you, telling you that seonghwa was in the hospital. how could you not have noticed that he was hurting? why didn't you notice that his smile was forced and that his laugh was fake and that, in reality, he was dying inside?
you knew it wasn't your fault. it wasn't anyone's, not even seonghwa's, but you couldn't help but blame yourself. you knew it was selfish to think that way, but you knew that you could have done something, anything, to stop this from happening. you could've noticed the signs that he wasn't happy, but you did nothing.
"(y/n)?" seonghwa's quiet voice sounded, snapping you out of your thoughts. you promised to be strong, but seeing him stare at you with watery eyes, so many emotions ran through you and you broke.
"seonghwa," your voice cracked as he pulled you into his arms, hugging you as if you would disappear at any moment.
"i'm sorry. i'm so sorry," seonghwa rambled as he cried into your shoulder, hands trembling. you shook your head, pulling back to stare into his eyes, tears running down both of your guys' cheeks.
"it's okay, it's gonna be okay," you spoke, but you didn't know if you were saying those words for him or for yourself. "i thought i lost you,"
you saw seonghwa smile sadly as he caressed your face with his thumb, you just now noticing his bandaged wrists. "i'm here though, aren't i?"
you nodded, smiling a bit. you couldn't put into words how relieved you were that he would be okay. you guys could only go forward from here and that's all that mattered.
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so this was just a lil' drabble i had stuck in my head while i work on a request. i'm working really hard on that one,,, it's gonna be good.
as you can see, i like writing angst so expect a lot of that lol
oh yeah, i made a new cover too,, how do you like it?
