The Lives That I Have Lived

Lessons Learned

When my world began, there was nothing. I had no knowledge of who I was, what I was meant to do with the life I had been given.
And honestly, I do still often feel that way. The family I have been born into presumed that my emotions towards other people where caused by a chemical imbalance in my brain. Depression, anxiety, bipolar depression, these words held no meaning in my life before. Nowhere in the countless years I have been wandering this earth have I been given such titles.

As my parents began to worry more for the sanity of a lost child, and as the doctors began writing scripts for whatever drug they sought for to pump me full if. These lessons, my teachings, came flooding back. Like a trip down memory lane, the comfort of a freshly played bed roll.  The soothing laughter of children, my children, long since gone away.
Why at a time like this would these sentiments come to me. Was it the drugs playing tricks on my beaten and tired mind. Or my soul trying to remind me, give me the answers to the questions that I had been seeking. To this day I am still unsure of why or why not these teachings where relived, even for a brief second in time. But what I do know is that the moment my visit to my past lives was over, Asagoth, the demon I gave my life to, came to me in solitude and whispered, " These humans know little of cosmic importance. They diagnose you with a fitting title because your very existence is incomprehensible to them. But as true as our bond is, and as strong as our partnership has become believe when I say this. You are who you have always been. No amount of substance or therapy will change that which lies burned into your very being. You and i are one, now and forever. Keep these lessons with you always and never let the human world lead you astray."

With his parting wisdom, he slowly vanished into the crevasses of our abyssal consciousness.  The year is  2014. And I none of the lives that I have lived could have prepared me for what came next.
John and Marie. My "birth" parents. After an extremely aggravated separation, the twelve going on thirteen year old child I was had a decision to make. Stay with my younger brother and deal with the daily beatings, both physical and mental, between the two scorned parents, or go my own way. In the end, the choice that was made wasn't even my decision, John, my father or 13 years, left his eldest son in the cold after a heated argument over what he claimed was depression.
I traveled the state of New Jersey, wandering aimlessly for the first year. Winters where harsh, but what was the worst of all, was the sole fact that being who I am, what I am, was reason enough for a father to abandon and disown his eldest born child. Most nights I would use the protection of the surrounding Woodlands for shelter, but when I ventured into a city, cardboard boxes where often a luxury I was unable to obtain. So ripped open plastic waste bags and landfill used mattresses made due. However,  that all changed shortly before Christmas of that year.

I had been roaming the side streets in a Trenton. A young boy like myself had trouble finding any work, mostly busing tables for scraps of food or water. And one this particular day, the 23rd of December, I met the man who would give my life a new meaning.

Father Domascus was his name. A mafioso of the old world.  He found me walking  to my usual pit stop before finding a comfortable looking building side to rest my head. Young miss Rose Grangered,  young mother of two who lived paycheck to paycheck to support her little ones, Adrian and Howell. My usual route took me past her house with a bag full of fresh vegetables, snacks for her children, and raw chicken for soups. Especially during the winter months, when the cold settled into your bones, i would be invited into Miss Grangereds' house to make my homemade potato soup, with about a weeks worth of leftovers she needn't worry much. Except, where i would typically wander off to some mold infested back alley to seek comfort, I was approached by a man gargantuan in stature. Behind this man was Father Domascus, he was about 5'9" and 200lbs, judging from how far from me he was i had a very accurate read of his body type.  

He ordered his guard to step aside, and approached me with a gentle warmth to his nature.  "Young man, please pardon me. I saw you walk into the house down the street, is that your home? I notice you bring in handfuls of groceries, and here you are on this cold street with nothing but a broken pair of boots, and tattered clothes." His eyes showed only kindness, and for some uncontrollable reason, i chose to trust this man. "Miss Grangered is being brought down by hard times, so on my way back from work i often try to bring the necessities her and her two little ones may need. I feel for the family is all, and try to help where ever i can." 

His eyes widened as a gentle smile  came across his face. "You never answered my question young man, is that your home." I shook my head no, and when he had asked where I was living, i told him everywhere. 

As our conversation grew more personal, i couldnt help feeling as though this man, a complete stranger, was no chance meeting. We sat on the front stoop of Miss Grangereds' house for about three hours, i began to end the conversation, it was getting dark and the only thought on my mind was that this kind man would soon catch a cold if i held him from his day any further. "It was my pleasure to meet you Mr. Domascus, but I should be on my way, with night coming i dont want to be the reason you get sick. And i have a warm alley calling my name. Thank you for the kind -" He cut me off before i could finish with what i thought would be a joke. "Young man, from what i gathered in the hours you and i have spent talking, you are a rare gem. A man more keen on others than yourself. You even go out of your way to bring this kind woman food for her family. Id like you to accompany me to my home, at least for a decent hot meal and shower." Before i could rebuke his appealing argument, i found myself in his car heading towards what to me was unknown. 

By the time i had arrived at Father Domascus' house, the sky had become a beautiful shade of blue. His home was nothing short of awe inducing. It was twenty minutes away from everything. Massive pillars holstering grandiose lion statues greeted those who passed through the fronts gates. The gates were followed by a winding driveway which finally came to a halt in front of a giant doorway molded in iron, and painted a deep dark black. When the driver parked the car, Father Domascus looked upon me, and for every second he gazed at my pitiful being, i felt an overwhelming sense of sadness, like the man before him was unworthy of being in eyesight let alone in the same car. He grinned again, and with a calm voice he said, "Follow me inside, I have dinner waiting us in the dining room, as are the rest of my family." An the only thing i could manage to say was, "Yes please."