irreplaceable // ziam

iv. acceptance (confession)

Two years have passed and our bond has grown distant. 

After realizing that my feelings for Zayn were never going to go away, I couldn't jeopardize my friendship with Gigi. It'll all become to awkward for me to handle.

I'm sitting down in my English class and I hear the door open. I look up to see who it is, and it's him.

The most we've gotten out of each other this entire year is a "Hey, how are you?" and that's it, the rest of time it's either awkward silence or no time spent together at all. It sometimes hurts yeah, that we don't talk like we used to, but it's something that I have to keep myself from doing. For the sake of my friendship with Gigi.

"Hey" 

I jump in my seat, "Holy fuck Zayn you scared the fuck out of me. I thought I was going to have a heart attack" I say. 

Zayn laughs and sits next to me.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"To see you of course" He responds and I immediately felt my stomach burn up and my face getting warm. The smile on my face must have looked so big. But of course, the words that came out of my mouth expressed a different emotion.

"Ha, that's funny. What are you really doing here?"

"I told you, to be here with you."

"You need to get back to whatever class you're supposed to be in before you get in trouble"

"I don't care"

"That attitude won't get you anywhere Zayn"

Zayn looks at me and I look back down at my book.

"Come with me"

I look up at Zayn. What? Where the heck does this kid want me to go? Doesn't he know we're in the middle of class? What could he possibly want?

"What?" Was all that came out of my mouth.

Zayn stands up and drags me by the hand.

"I'm gonna be borrowing Liam for a minute, he'll be back" Zayn told the teacher and we walk out of the classroom.

"Freedom!" He says rather loudly and I go on to hush him. 

"Dude! There are classes going on right now, you can't just make loud noises like that"

All Zayn does is smile and run to the end of the hallway and goes into the stairwell.

I roll my eyes and smile. Fucking hell. I miss this kid like crazy. I'm feeling all sorts of emotions right now and it's all confusing. This is all just happening too fast for me to process and I feel like I'm going to pass out any second now. But I won't. I gotta see how this ends. I'm at the stairwell and I see Zayn sitting down on one of the steps.

"Finally! I was getting old waiting for you" Zayn says and he pats the spot next to him, telling me to sit.

"Zayn... what are we doing here?"

"Can't you just enjoy the peace and quiet for just one second and stop asking questions every fucking second?"

I look at Zayn in shock. Those words stung, but they didn't cut. However, the silence was fucking killing me too slow for my liking.

"Zayn..."

"Yes Liam?"

I realized that our faces were only inches apart. My breathing picked up and my heart started to pound faster.

"I-I-I um..." I gulped trying to get words out. Why can't I get words out? Is this the effect that he has on me?

"Is it okay if I do something?" Zayn asked, and I was rather confused.

"I-I um... y-yeah?"

I felt Zayn's hand on my cheek. My stomach twisted harder than it possibly could. This is really about to happen... No, this can't happen. But I want it to happen. Before I could make a decision in my head, I already felt his lips on mine. His lips were just how I imagined they would be: full of passion, rough but smooth, tender and sweet. 

He pulls away and it feels as if a cookie was being taken away from a child.

"I've been meaning to do that since the day I met you" Zayn said.

I'm glad you did. But I had no words to actually say, I am still in complete shock of what just happened. Processing this is taking longer than usual.

Out of impulse, I kiss him back. And we melt into each other, feeling our embrace, letting the fireworks explode in the background. He feels it too, I know he does. There's no way he would be kissing me back the way he is if he didn't think there was a connection between us.

We pull away. He has tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I have to go" Zayn says and he stands about to leave the stairs.

"Wait," I say and hold his hand to stop him from leaving, "why are you leaving?"

"I-I love you too much to hurt you and I feel like if I let myself be this vulnerable around you, I will never recover. Just please, give me time. And know, that you will always be the one that I'll love to the moon and back. No matter what I do, what I say, how I act, know that you're always in my heart Liam."