irreplaceable // ziam

vi. revival (end)

One week before graduation.

It's been a year since our kiss.

I still wait. And he still goes on with his life.

We talk. Sort of. Our talks consists of the weather and literally everything else surrounding the subject but not directly about it. It's an abstract concept we're both dancing around. Like a forbidden word. This only occurs once a day in one class period.

Other than that, nothing.

"Liam"

"Yes Niall?"

"You thinking about him again?"

I look at Niall, and he already knows.

"You can't let him get to you, he's a fucking bitch for promising you something that he couldn't deliver. Of course he said he wasn't ready, and of course he said to wait, to give him time, but it's been a year. And you deserve a lot better than that piece of trash." Niall says and his words bring some comfort to me and makes me laugh a little.

"Thank you Niall. I don't know how I could be alive without you." I say. I'm really glad Niall has been there for me, and provided me the support I need.

"Anything for you--" Niall says but it seems he stopped himself from finishing his sentence.

"H-hey"

That voice.

I turned around and saw him. Standing behind me, somehow those hazel eyes got a richer coat of paint, and somehow his beard made him completely irresistible, and somehow that hair just glowed like the light, and somehow... he just seemed like a masterpiece.

"Hi" I say.

"Can we talk?" He asks and I hesitate to respond.

I look at Niall who motions me to go with Zayn and talk. And so I do.

We're at the stairwell.

"Remember the last time we were here, together, alone?" I said.

He didn't say anything.

"Zayn, why are you crying?"

"Because..."

"Because why?"

His crying got heavier and it feels like he's going to break any second now. He falls into my arms and I hug him tight.

"Zayn... what's wrong? You know I'm here for you for whatever you need..."

"I-I'm such a horrible person"

"Why would you say that?"

"Because! Look at how I made you feel!" Zayn says and I'm taken back by his words a little, "You don't think I know how shitty you feel and how much you've been hurting. I've been watching you, I noticed your behavior changed completely from the time we kissed to now and knowing that I'm the cause of that makes it hurt even more. On top of that, I do nothing about it. I know you're in pain yet I stop myself from going to you and tell you everything is going to be okay all because I care too much about what people think of me more than my own happiness..." Zayn stops to take a breath and wipe the tears off his face.

"You are my happiness Liam. The way your kind hearts cares for people, the way you love the people you care about, the way your eyes shine whenever you talk about something your passionate about, the way you get excited about looking at fucking ants... everything... everything is just so perfect about you. And I... I broke you."

"I broke up with Gigi a week ago. We've just been pretending because I'm a shithead and can't have my reputation with people be the reason everyone talks about me. Fuck. I think too much about you and it kills me inside that I'm the one stopping us from happening, but I'm not running anymore. This time... I swear I won't leave."

I feel eyes swell up and about to burst into a waterfall. But I hold myself together somehow and just take Zayn in for a hug.

"I love you Zayn. I love you so fucking much"

"I love you Liam. I love you more than you know"