Perfectly Wrong (Chanyeol × Reader)

18. A Lot Like Love

               CHANYEOL'S    P.O.V.

It's been a month since that incident happened. I haven't talked to (y/n) after that. She tried to apologise by texting me but I left her on seen. Well I've been really busy with work for the past couple of weeks so I can use that as an excuse for not replying. But who am I kidding? The truth is I didn't know what to say? I hate it when I don't find words to express my feelings. I don't even know if it was the shortage of words that didn't let me reply or ego? Now when I think of it, I realise what (y/n)'s friend said that day. She said that (y/n) hasn't told her anything. And she was confused about what I was doing there. Which probably means (y/n) didn't invite her friends home that day either. But that time my anger didn't let me think calmly & I ended up leaving. I was a fool.  

I can't even text (y/n). Her last message was around two weeks ago. I can't suddenly show up since I was the one who ignored her. It's gonna be so weird, it'll feel like I'm craving for attention. I guess she gave up on our friendship..

The more I think about it, the more I feel upset. And I can't let that happen. I'm the happy virus, ain't I? Anyways it's not like our friendship was years old that I'm letting it affect me this much.

I let out a sigh.

I think about doing a live for eris & open my Instagram. Just when I open it, something else catches my attention. A recommendation. It was (y/n)'s Instagram account. Her number was saved in my phone so it recommended me to follow her Instagram. Without thinking once I open it but sadly her account was private.  Now I was curious about seeing her profile since it had a few posts. She didn't have many followers which surprised me. 

The only thought that was running in my mind was whether I should text her or not? I mean it's not bad to make a move right? She already did her part. And it'd be really harsh if i don't reply. I mean she deserves a reply. I can't leave her hanging just like that.

I gather some courage and open the message box to text her. But before I could text I saw a ton of messages already there.

So she used to text me on Instagram. I scroll up & keep scrolling for the next 10 minutes.

I realised it weren't just a ton of messages but like hundreds of them.

Finally I reached her first text to me ever.

I giggled when I saw it was a simple "Hey" as if she's texting to any other person.

I started reading her texts one by one. The starting parts were normally the ones where she told me how much she loved me. There were parts where she told me some jokes & laughed at them all by herself. The more I read the more I realised that she started to open up to me through the texts. She started telling me how her day was & even told me about the bad things that were happening in her life. She told me how she wants to give up on life then she'd tell me something funny and laugh about it.  I kept reading her texts for the next one hour.  I saw that she requested a song for me to sing, Elvis Presley's "Can't help Falling in Love" which I assumed to be her favourite song.

I noticed she stopped texting me for like 6 months because she felt bad for disturbing me. But when something happened she was there comforting me about it with her texts. I also noticed how she always sent me motivational texts to keep on working hard & achieving my dreams along with taking care of myself and my members.
I kept reading her texts until the end and saw how she told me that her birthday was soon & she wanted me to post something. It's weird that I actually posted a picture of me that day and even updated my Instagram story. She was happy & thanked me for it. Even though she knew I didn't see her texts.

I kept reading further and i found her texts about my dating rumour with Daisy. She talked about how she was in shock. She told me that she Supports me no matter what. And if I'm happy with Daisy then she's happy too. She told me she's a little upset tho but that doesn't mean she's not accepting it. I finally finished reading her texts & it ended with a sorry for that day which she sent me two weeks ago.

I lay down on the couch & close my eyes. I take a deep breath.

After reading her texts, there's one thing I realised that (y/n) didn't love me as an idol but as a human being. The love she has for me isn't the typical idol fan love but that of the lovers. But hey! It's what I think, it doesn't have to be true. I don't know what it is but whatever it is, it's a lot like love.