Secret Desires

CHAPTER 23

ISAIAH

  Monique dragged me all the way out side before telling me to wait while she left to get my gift. Moments later, I saw her coming back with an older woman, I narrowed and squinted my eyes a bit.

"Mom?" I ran as fast as I could, embracing her and lightly lifting her off the ground. She hugged back and I could hear her sniffling against my chest.

"Isaiah" she whispered and I let her go.

"Mom" I said and gave her one quick hug before pulling away.

"I missed you so much baby" she said looking up at me like I was the most precious thing in the world.

"I missed you alot too, mom" I whispered as I felt my own tears sting my eyes.

"You're so grown-up, Sai Sai"  she said letting out a gentle chuckle as she sobbed lightly.

I nodded and laughed lightly too.

"You should head to the garden, it's more private and there's another surprise" Monique said as she wiped a tear from her face while managing a gentle smile.

  She lead us to the garden and there was a table of food and some candle lights. Immediately I saw the arrangements, I took her in a warm and sincere embrace.

"Thank you" I whispered to her before pulling away, she nodded and left us immediately we got seated.

"Eat" my mom whispered while motioning towards the food.

With hesitation I took a bite and moaned at the familiar taste.

"You made this" I said still eyeing the food with a happy glint in my eyes.

"You always used to love my cooking" she whispered.

"I still do" I said taking a slice and feeding it to her. She ate the food and I smiled as she chewed and swallowed.

"How did it ever get to this?" She asked and I frowned a bit but sighed before speaking again.

"It was that bastard" I said through gritted teeth as my hand that rested on the table balled up into a fist.

"Don't say that, he's your father" she said as her tiny hand rested over mine and rubbed till I relaxed under her touch.

"He stopped being my father the moment he divorced you for that bitch he calls a wife" I said sounding a lot calmer than before.

"Then why are you here?" She said and I looked up at her with a confused expression.

"He must've called you here, you answered his call, message or e mail" she said and I turned away for a moment.

"The only reason is that ..." she cut me off.

"You're afraid him" she said and my jaws clenched.

"I'm your mother, I saw through the façade you put up in front of him when you were a kid" she paused to stroke my knuckles in order to calm me down. It worked.

"It all started when you always wanted to make him proud, you liked getting praises from him, you would always try to never disappoint him" she paused again to cup my cheek.

"You wanted to be just like him, successful, dominant, hell of a charmer, problem solver and a good businessman. You wanted to be him, you feared his presence and due to some insecurities, you wanted to feel feared too" she said and immediately, a tear rolled down her cheek which she wiped immediately with her free hand.

"It became tougher when you found yourself, when you came out to me, you never wanted him to find out about your sexuality, you never wanted to dissapoint him" she said now stroking my cheek.

"Then he found the magazines, he confronted you but with nothing to say about it, he put it aside calling it a phase" my fists tightened at the word. Phase.

"Then came our divorce" I was sobbing by this time.

"Afterwards, he never let me see you, I tried getting in contact with you but he would always interfere. The day he threatened your life, I backed off" she said and burst into tears.

"What?" I asked sounding shattered.

"He told me he'd kill you if I didn't stay away, knowing the man I married, I knew he wasn't bluffing" she said as more tears rolled from her eyes and I sighed and wiped her cheeks.

"He told me you didn't want a fag for a son, I never believed him" I whispered as her crying began to gradually die down.

"You have to face reality, you shouldn't be scared of men like him, look at me, my fear tore us apart, don't make the same mistake I did" she said cupping my chin and looking me straight in the eyes.

"You don't have to be him, you don't have to feel feared and intimidating, you just have to be you" she said and leaned over the table and pecked my forehead. I smiled through teary eyes as I closed my eyes for a while, recalling my childhood, how I spent years fearing that man, I could never stand up to him, too afraid of the consequences, too engrossed in making others feel the same. I nearly burst into tears as I remembered.

"Well. Well. Well" we both turned to the bitch that stood at the entrance of the garden.

"What are you doing here?" My jaw clenched as I spoke but my mom squeezed my hand in hers to calm me down.

"Seeing your silly family reunion for myself" she said pointing at us while lightly laughing with disgust.

"Leave" I said sternly.

"And miss the party, no way" she said walking closer.

"Get out of here!" I yelled through shut eyes mentally trying to calm my nerves.

"Oh sweety, we have a guest, we should stay here and assist her, what if she gets a text or something, you know she can't read" she said and I got up and whisked around. With my hands now squeezing her throat, she scratched my wrist gasping for air.

"Stop!" My mom yelled at me as she too scratched and tried to pry my hands off her throat.

  I could only see red as the pure rage encapsulated me

"Let. Her. Go" I heard my dad's stern voice. My hands immediately turned to jelly and I let go. Immediately I did, the whore began to cough and gasp for air.

  Immediately she could breathe properly, she raised her hand and a hard slap landed across my face. I took the strike with no problem while just staring at my father but my mom immediately went in front of me and returned the favour hard across her face too.

"You illiterate low life" she yelled at my mom and I immediately stepped in between them with a defensive expression on my face.

"Why do you protect that disgusting thing" dad said referring to my mother.

  I opened my mouth to speak but, I just couldn't. I just grabbed my mom by the wrist and pulled her out of the garden and into my car. I silently motioned to the passenger seat which she got in before getting in the driver's seat and speeding away.

Yay, an early update....I tried to make this heated but I think I did a shityy job...weeeellll atleast the update was early.