I wasn't listening to anything Professor Ulrich was saying. I couldn't, not with my mind racing with these stupid thought like they were. Up until a few weeks ago, I knew I felt nothing for Luke. Now it's just all a blur and I can't decipher what it is I'm actually feeling.
I don't know why I can't just admit to myself that there is something there for him. The possibility of either one of us getting hurt isn't why I'm so in denial. But just because Luke obviously has feelings for me isn't going to turn my head in his direction. I can't help but feel that that is how he feels. He thinks that because he's interested and I've retaliated in more ways than one, I should be interested too. Well, I'm not.
Luke is my best friend. I don't want to fuck that up just because he likes me or whatever teenage boys feel towards girls.
After class had ended, I took the long way back to my dorms, just in case my roommate was back. I didn't feel like talking to her. Why the hell is she around all the time anyways?
I had to dig through my bag for a couple of seconds to find those keys I keep losing. As soon as I held them in my hand, Ashton emerged from his new girlfriend's room (barf) and bumped into my shoulder, making me drop them. "Thanks Ash." I smiled at him like a snotty little bitch before bending down to grab them.
"Let me." He also bent down to grab them.
"I got it." I picked them up, standing up. "Thanks though." I nodded before moving to enter my key in the hole.
But, before I could, the door was pulled open by a hand belonging to a person I was never expecting to see in my dorm.
"Hi mom." I furrowed my eyebrows, walking into my room as I set my bags under my bed. "Uhm what- no why are you here?" I stared at my bed.
My mom hated the fact that I wanted to take psychology. She wanted me to go to school to be an anesthesiologist or something that makes hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. I just think she wanted me to stay closer to home but she kept smothering me so I just left. We haven't talked much since the departure so her reason for being here was unknown to me.
She moved to the side, revealing Luke which I find stupid since my mom is 5'3 and he's 6'3. I guess I just wasn't expecting him here either.
"I ran into Luke on my way to the dorms so I brought him up here with me!" She rubbed his arm. Then, she leaned closer to whisper to me "He's a lot cuter than I remember."
My mom had always thought of Luke as her second son, after my brother Pete. Well, technically she thought of him as her future son-in-law, but she never told Luke that. My mom has been a supporter of the Emma and Luke relationship since we were both allowed to date. I haven't told her about all of the crazy shit (and I don't plan to) but I'm sure she would drown in her own happiness.
"Yeah, cool. Why are you two here?" I unzipped my sweatshirt, revealing my black sports bra. I could sense Luke tense up at my exposed skin, but I didn't acknowledge anything.
"I'm here because I want to visit my only daughter whom I haven't seen in almost seven months!" She embraced me in a hug. I didn't really hug anyone actually. It's a weird thing for me but people just force it. "And my favorite future son-in-la-"
"Mom stop." I laughed nervously. "Hey Luke." I smiled awkwardly, as his gaze traveled down my torso. I didn't bother covering myself up. I don't feel like I should be any more reserved since he's seen all of the bits and pieces.
"How have you two been? Busy studying probably." My mother sat on my bed, setting her purse down.
"Yeah studying a lot. I'm not very good in academics at the moment so Emma has been using a few great techniques to help me." Luke smiled.
