Of Stalking and Tomatoes

Chapter 13

"How do you know if you like someone?"

That made Jul miss a drift turn, sending Mario on a long nosedive off of the rainbow road and into the abyss. Jul blinked at his 3DS screen as Mario reappeared back on the track. He ended up closing his handheld and stared at Nyx, eyes narrowed.

"What do you mean by 'like'?" he asked

Nyx was laying on the bed, his head dangling off the edge as he fiddled with his phone. Jul can't imagine how he can do that. It would make him dizzy if he tried to play with his phone in that position.

"You know..." Nyx shrugged, "'like-like'...?"

He blinked and stared at Nyx. Was he hearing this correctly?

"'like-like'?" he parroted, "What are you five?"

Nyx groaned and pouted on the bed and for a moment he thought that Nyx was going to throw tantrum.

"You know what I mean!"

"You're an adult!" Jul stated, "I'm sure you can say that clearer!"

Nyx groaned and rolled on the bed. Jul knew what Nyx was trying to say and, frankly speaking, needed no clarification. But he wanted to hear it. Hear the words from Nyx's mouth. A confession from his dear friend so he would know how to proceed.

He had been trying to help him. At first it was just fun to watch Nyx trip on his own two feet just by seeing Ren but as the days go by, the look in Nyx's eyes changed and Jul knew that he wanted to help his friend.

He wasn't the only one in it. He's been in contact with Rodney since day one of rehearsals. Day one. Rodney immediately realized that Nyx had a thing for Ren. He had volunteered to help bring the two together but his methods were rather extreme.

Jul knew about what happened backstage. He could hear them talking before Nyx even left to find Ren. Rodney taunted Nyx, scared the living daylights out of him, and basically made his friend aware that Ren was a woman. And all that happened on day two. Rodney barely even knew Nyx at the time. But Jul had to admit, Rodney was efficient. It's just that the way he's going about this was just way too harsh. The man has no mercy as he went out of his way to make sure that Nyx became wary of him. But despite avoiding him like the plague, Nyx paid close attention to what Rodney says. That ended up getting him stuck in Ren's house for a whole day.

Of course Jul knew that, too. None of the details though. But he did learn about it albeit in a roundabout manner.

The day after the storm, he heard yelling from his next door neighbors. From what he heard, Nyx hadn't gone home the night before and hasn't been answering his phone. He tried calling both Nyx and Ren, but neither of them was answering. The group had a little party at Ren's house. A party he was supposed to be part of but he caught the flu and needed to stay home. He thought of the people who would be there and Rodney came to mind. He quickly called him up and asked about Nyx in which he got:

"If your friend is not as stupid as I think he is, then he's at Ren's place. If he is stupid, then I don't know."

With just those words, Jul knew that Nyx had been tricked again and he was staying at Ren's place. He verified that when he stayed over Nyx's place the day after.

"She let me sleep the night and I left the day after."

Was all Nyx said to him. Nothing more, nothing less. Very consistent too as he asked about it several times hoping Nyx would slip up. He didn't. But Jul knew that that was not all that happened. He could see it in the way Nyx would perk up every time he mentioned that night. It was suspiciously curious. He wanted to know what happened but Nyx insisted that nothing did happen and Jul was most certainly not asking Ren about it. So he left it at that.

Jul watched as Nyx pouted at him. He raised an eyebrow at Nyx and the other just glared back before sighing in resignation. Nyx took a deep breath before asking, properly, this time.

"How do you know if you love someone?"

Jul smiled, "You don't know."

Nyx stared at him, not believing what he just heard. Jul could hear the cursing and the yelling in the silence that his friend was giving him. But it's true, you don't know when you love someone, you just love them.

"You don't use your head." Jul started, "You don't feel love. You do it," he saw Nyx blink at him, obviously confused but he just continued, "You invest, and exert effort. You prioritize their views. You think with their interests in mind, and you take their needs and make them yours."

Within the years he's had several relationships. All of them held a special part in his heart. He will never forget them.

"You support them, back them up if they need it. You care and take care of them, and no amount of anger, irritation or being pissed off can stop you in doing that."

Years in relationships and years in loving people. Jul never knew that he'd be able to put them into words as he was doing now. But here he is, doing his best to explain it so that he could help his friend in his first endeavor.

"You want to understand them before being understood by them. You listen, compromise, and apologize when you do something wrong. And you get hurt. Not by them but by the decisions you have to make to honor and respect them."

Jul's relationships had never ended well. He had always been on a losing streak. He couldn't bear the sight of his partners struggling. He couldn't bear the words they told him. The words that told him that they can't handle him giving them too much of everything. That they can't give the same amount back and they feel guilty about it. He didn't ask for anything back. He just wanted them to smile. And so he gave them one last thing they wanted. He let go.

"But that's me," he said, "It can be different for you."

He hoped it would be different. Nyx didn't deserve that kind of pain. He wore his heart on his sleeve and always has his best foot forward on anything. Jul can only imagine how much Nyx would give to whoever he gets involve with.

He watched as Nyx lay still on the bed, head no longer dangling off the edge. He could see the cogs working in Nyx's head, thinking, remembering, and trying to figure out the answer to the one question that they both know. He watched as Nyx sat up, a serious look on his face as he stared at his lap. He watched as his friend turned to him and as he made contact with those eyes, Jul had to smile.

"Jul..." Nyx started, "I think I'm in love with Ren."

Fucking finally!