Fearless~Hardzello

ten

joe's pov

angry tears well up in ben's eyes as he throws the newspaper across the room. he gets up and kicks the wall, punching and hitting the surface. his fists balled tightly. his breathing heavy. my body's shaking, my mind foggy. i can't believe this is happening. at least our faces aren't on it. our names are on it. the paper reads, "East Side Division teenage newsboys, joe and ben are accused of having a homosexual relationship. they were last seen at Grand Central station. consider these individuals mentally unstable and ill. if found, get them to help immediately." i grow nauseous. my stomach churning with anxiety and horror. what are we going to do? we can't just leave out of the blue. we'd look suspicious. ben stops hitting the wall, his knuckles scratched and bleeding. he curls up on the floor and starts sobbing. my body's too weak and numb to go to him although i want to. my heart aches. how could anyone do this? how could gwilym do this? my chest pangs with anger. i find my fists balling up. gwilym. i think of him and his insanely punchable face. my anger fuels me to get up and go to ben. i wrap my arms gently around him. he resists me at first but then leans into me and breathes heavily. i pet his hair gently.
"i'm so angry" he says coldly.
"me too."
"god i hope rami gave him a good beating"
"he probably did" i say with a soft laugh. i pull away and kiss him on the forehead softly.
"we'll be okay. we just have to pretend like everything is. go along with anything they say" i say. ben nods, his crystal blue eyes glassy with tears. i grip his hand and we just sit in silence. my mind buzzing with ideas. suddenly a soft knock comes from the door. my pulse races. they could know it's us. at least we came up with the good idea to change our names. i open the door. it's jack.
"hey! did you hear the headline? it's gonna sell like mad. nobody knows 'em but i hear they're sick. if you know any sick people, you should tell missus" jack says. my blood runs cold. if only he knew he was talking to one of the 'sick' people.
"okay" i answer dryly. he eyes me curiously then shrugs.
"you seem a bit off. i'll go if it'll make you happy" jack says with a tiny smile. i roll my eyes.
"it's fine, jack. but yeah we do need some space right now. something bad just happened" i say. jack nods.
"alright then. see ya!" he says and i close the door. i sigh.
"did you hear what he said?" i ask. ben nods.
"we're sick" ben says softly. my heart drops at his sad tone.
"we need to get out of here" i say. ben shakes his head.
"joe, we have to go back to new york" i stop dead in my tracks.
"ben are you stupid or something? what's gotten into you? we left new york for a reason! we're not going back there. never!" i exclaim. he sighs.
"we should turn ourselves in." my breath hitches in my throat.
"what?!" i yell. "ben what did you just say?" i tremble. my hands shaking. i swear i must've heard him wrong.
"i said we should turn ourselves in" he says louder.
"ben, no! what did we promise each other? to stand up for what's right! to be together no matter what. we can't do that in prison! i can't face my family like that. i can't do anything. we're happy here, we're happy together!" i say. tears fall down ben's face.
"i give up, joe! what else are we supposed to do? run and pretend like everything's okay? i'm sick of this! let's just go where we belong" ben says, his voice breaking. i fall to the floor, my knees buckling.
"ben i know you're scared but we can't give up" i say.
"i don't care. i'm going back" ben says. he stands up and starts packing his things.
"ben. please don't. don't do this. you can't succumb to them. they'll destroy you. don't do it. it's what they want" i plead with him. ben stops and faces me.
"i'm sorry, joe. you know i'll always love you but it's for the best" ben says. i use a last resort attempt at winning him over. i grab his face and shove my lips on his in an anger fueled passionate kiss. he holds it for a second and pulls away. he knows it'll be one of the last times we kiss. he runs his hand through my hair.
"i'll miss you" he says. tears well up in my eyes.
"please don't go, ben. don't leave me" i say softly. his eyes stare into mine.
"if you want to join me, you can" he says and grips my hand. i let go.
"i'm not going anywhere. please don't do this, ben. you'll regret it."
"i know i will, but it's for the best. i'll see you out there, loverboy" ben says with a small smirk. he puts his cap on and grabs his bag. he steps out the door. i watch him helplessly as he walks down the hall.
"i'll be waiting for you!" i call out.
"don't worry. i'll find you" ben calls back. i wipe the tears from my cheek. he'll come back. i go back in my room and slam the door. how am i going to do this alone?