I'm Starting To Think...

And Who Are You?

And Who Are You?

Dedicated to Mister.Friendship

Some people will never understand me. They'll only know me by the labels of 'Emo' and 'Freak'. Too bad for them. Because inside this metal cylinder there's words that can give you a smile. And my friends... Their fingers were like my can openers. They helped me peel off this label. Sure I get named. But what do they do to me? They just cover me. They don't impale my heart. But words do. Words can grow alive. They can peel themselves off the phone and break your heart with the words, 'U Ugly!'. But why? Why do people tap the send button? Does it make you the bigger person, when that person presses a blade against themselves and topple down those building blocks. You can't reach down and take those blocks and place them ontop of yourselves. You can't. I've seen it. You can't grow large from words.

Words. So simple. An item made by my own species. Our species. Our species is cruel. They add defenition in beauty. But what is beauty? You. Every atom that makes up of you? They're all different- we are all made differently. We are different. But isn't that hard to accept for ones that belive in something else and belive in nothing. If you have one, pray to your god. If not. Pray to yourself. Because you are making yourself. You're making the future that defines you. But in the end, it always comes out flawless. There are no mistakes. It's alright to be you. It's alright to stand up and yell. It's alright. It's all so right. But yet. You don't agree. I call you beautiful. But we both know that you deny it. We all do. I do.

Don't press that red button. Because red can be the color of death and disaster. But aren't we all curious? Yes the cat died, but satisfaction always brought it back! But the blade doesn't give you anything. The shiny metallic smile it gives you? It's a robot. A fake. You won't gain satisfaction. You'll gain a tight box around your body, lifeless dirt, and people in black draping flowers over your stony words of Death. I don't know why you would want it. Well. I do get it. But I don't see what is the gain. If you want to get out if this world, wouldn't it be better to just make it better so others like you don't suffer the same silence as you? We might as well strangle ourselves in our mother's stomach if that is true. Life is cruel. But life is life. And life is fair too.

In elementary I don't know what I was. I wasn't exactly the nerd, or Dumbo the elephant. I was just a freak of... Humanity. I never realised it when I was that young but I was used and hurt. I shall speak no names because this is a secret I share to myself and for the people who recognize this in their life those wether or not that they were the foes in this. But there's no foes. There's never been foes. Never was. We just imagine we do so we can get out our anger.

In second grade I was a confused child. I had a friend then, and let's call him Friendship. He's still my friend. A very good one I'll say for sticking with me since first grade when he called me crybaby while I was having a great ol fit. But there was another one 'friend' I had. But they... They used me. They called me names, but I just smiled and went along with it. Because I thought... I thought that was friendship. Mr.Friendship I guess... I guess he realised this. He stood up to them. I didn't realize what was happening, so being me- I tried to ravel straw and wire together. Of course my way didn't work out and it ended up with me.. A bit empty. Haven't we all felt this? Like there's nothing in your chest. You feel like you want to fall asleep but you can't close your eyes. And your breathing starts to seem like it freaking out but in reality.. Nothing is wrong. Everything is alright.

Okay, okay. Let's take a few steps back a bit, like around first grade. So. Friendship and I never really knew we each other... So we basically didn't exist in one and another's world. Until Friendship took my cozy seat in the mini library we had in our classroom. And oh boy was I mad. People can get worked up so easily about one thing and another. We get too attached to things that can exist again, instead of being with beings. By beings I mean living things. People, animals, and even plants! We all have a limited time. We aren't immortal. We can't be like cats and peel off another life and wait for another one to grow while crying yours eyes out because it hurts. I just combined a cat and an onion. That is how nine onion lives work. I am basically saying that we are fragile snowflakes. We have always been fragile. But some just don't relize this and swat others likes flies. See those tiny guts all over the wall? Those are the lives you just waste by being attached to something so dead. Tell me. Would you rather finally beat that boss battle, or be a last minute friend to a person just like you but is dying from cancer. People are dying. And you aren't helping. I can throw away something like my iPad which I admit I am quite attatched to it. But it doesn't mean I can't live without it. It means I have more time to spend with short lives. We sadly aren't turtles- I'm sorry to break it to you.