Reawakening

Part 33 - Doubts...

"Khushi..." but she was gone like the wind... leaving him confused,...

"What the... Khushi,.." his instant reaction was to run behind her, but his mind got the better of him. "Let me give her some time.."

And Khushi's instant reaction was to run and without bothering to look back at him. Like a hurricane, she entered the house, without even greeting Buaji who had opened the door, going straight to the kitchen, she was already swirling her hands and making batches and batches of jilebis.

With migraine having kicked over, tying her orangy red thin muslin around her "Sanka devi, what happened? Did anyone tell you anything? Hai re nand kishore..."

"Khusi, is everything ok? Is Payaliya ok, nothing happened to her.. did Mami say anything?" Garima asked concerned if Khushi is upset because of Payal's ìn laws..

As if Buaji had a brainwave, she asked "Hey parameshwari, did you by any chance fight with Arnav Babua? "

Khushi looked up instantly at the mention of his name and nodded a no, gaining a sigh of life from everyone.

Finally after having watched for a long time, when the next batch of jilebies were dipped in the sugar syrup, before she could make the batter for the next batch, silently, Shashi spoke, "Bitiya, you have not taken your medicines today, and moreover, you have been shopping whole day, you must be tired, and if you fall, Arnav baba is not here to catch you this time... " he knew he had hit the right chord, for she immediately stopped, looking here and there, then looking at him, saying a meek, "Ok babuji,," went inside. His odd remark did get some odd looks from the elder ladies. Fight or no fight, he realised, it had something to do with the above said man. By now, it was no rocket science for him. Something must have happened....

Listening to Khushi's jilebi making session, and seeing that her sis has already gone to bed, Payal told, "she sounded quite upset when I told her I wont be going there for dinner.. do you think she has fought again with Arnav ji? Should I speak to Anjali di?" she left her questions open as no one could throw any light...

In bed she was. But sleep was far away. Khushi reminisced her journey since the time she had met him. No she couldn't think of love in the beginning. But there was the moment when she first fell into those arms when she had felt safe and secure. A different feeling had engulfed her, though she could not name it. His gaze had eventually made her scared, and slowly he had made her life hell, and the emotions turned to hatred, or rather she thought. Every time she met him, her self respect was at stake and she fought for it. Unknown to her, tears streamed down her cheeks,..

"You have the habit of leaving your things here and there. Just like you had left your payal (anklet) near the pool. Your payal was with me, don't give a different meaning to it, don't think a rich man was holding it to his heart. It does not mean anything to me"

"means nothing..."

"May be for you it does, as of me, you or that thing (referring to the encounter by the pool a few hours ago) does not have any importance, no importance at all"

His ruthlessness, arrogance, status or money had overtaken everything...

Wept silently she did, on that day and days that followed, and even today it brought fresh pain, when it was nearly turning to a year since it has happened. She had surrendered then, but now, she was not so sure. Yet somewhere down the line had she forgiven or moved on?? Or had she forgotten about it seeing the changes in him, did she still love him the way she did? she did realise there was attraction, but was it love? According to her imaginary book of 100 signs to know if you are in love, by kkg,.. it had passed some of them. Obviously the book was a bit outdated with rules like,