Jade

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My name is Jade. I am part of the people whose scars are just as deliberate as any tattoo. This is my story. Its not about some guy helping me out of my destructive "after school activities". And it's not about how someone saves me from being suicidal because I'm not. Frankly I don't think anyone would care if I was.

I crave the pain and I sometimes tend to take it too far. I love the anxiety right before the blade touches my skin and the comfort in knowing I can't stop it, change it, control it. I need to feel the blood running down my skin, feel the warm blood drip, drip, drip. I let the blood flow engulfed in the bliss warped pain. I close my eyes and let go. For a few seconds I am free. Then the blood clots. And the cycle begins again.

I'm what the population would call a loner. I don't do many friends or groups. I trust only myself because that's the only person I can depend on. My life isn't too bad; I'm a dark cloud in a "perfect" world, great friends but I would rather spend my time alone because sometimes I feel like they don't understand me and the rest of the time I feel like a burden, though they are constantly telling me I'm not one. I trust my friends with little parts of my life, no one ever knows everything that is going on in it, it's a precaution. No one ever has the full story so no one can ever get close enough to hurt me. The full story is ... important but its better off kept to oneself ... I had to learn that the hard way.

As I said earlier I'm a loner, so I'm unknown to most which means they can't hurt me... they can only try. So, I thought I was safe from any real damage until last summer when something happened. Something that may change my whole life and take the worst possible turn. Which is why I am going to investigate until I find the truth... and then well I don't know.