Get in my Swamp (Shrek X Kim Jong-un)

Prologue: What are you Doing in my Swamp?

Kim Jong-un was a lonely man. 

Of course, all of the girls loved him. They were head-over-heels for his sexy winks, his thicc booty, and his plump, pleasant lips.

Every day, bad boy Kim Jong-un would bring a new girl home - of course, only the hottest of the girls, and you could hear their smashy smashy from a mile away. "Nuke me harder," the North Koreans would hear a girl shriek.

But Kim Jong-un had a secret. 

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One day, Kim Jong-un was bored. 

"Life is pointless," he said while running his fingers through his pitch black hair. The female officials standing by him swooned. He winked at them, and kept walking. The moment they couldn't see his face, he scowled. "I'm so bored - there's never anything to do around here. I've already forced every single citizen of North Korea into either sex trafficking or labour. All of my family members have been brutally publicly executed. What's a man got to do now?"

He thought for a moment. What is it I really want? I guess... love?  But the only people who loved him were shallow girls who would do anything to get into his pants (let's be honest, who wouldn't). The only person who he thought truly loved him left him all alone.

"I guess I should invade someone's territory." He considered nuking the U.S., but that was too easy to be fun.  Should he just annihilate South Korea? It was more fun watching them be cautious of him all the time. He decided on the one place nobody ever dared to enter. Just thinking about T-posing over them sent shivers down his spine. He was going to yeet them away and finally take over their territory. The most powerful place that has ever existed: Shrek's Swamp.

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Kim Jong-un was a fearless man, and he decided to jump right into the action. "First," he said mockingly, "I should send my dear Shrek a warning that his legacy is ending soon. NUKE SHREK'S SWAMP!" he cried to his officials. 

They looked at him, astounded. "B - but sir, nothing can withstand the power of Shrek. Even your father died at the merciless hands of -"

"SILENCE!" He roared. "Do as I say." Blushing and quaking at his dominance, they carried his orders out immediately. 

The next day, Kim Jong-un decided to march right in Shrek's Swamp. He was going to make Shrek pay for everything he had done to the beautiful country of North Korea. Shrek had destroyed North Korea so badly that over half of their citizens weren't in forced labour! Imagine the nerve of Shrek.

With 50,000 soldiers specialized in attacking Shrek's Swamp, Kim Jong-un marched right into Shrek's Swamp. The soldiers immediately rushed into the Swamp, swarming everywhere like bees chasing after a little child. Houses were cleared out with a couple gunshots from the well-prepared soldiers, chanting "KIM JONG-UN IS LIT!" and T-posing over the dead bodies.

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Kim Jong-un sat afar and watched it all. He put on his Airpods so he wouldn't hear the annoying shrieks of terror and agony - as fun as they were to listen to, he had heard so much of them he was so sick of it. He stood up slowly, watching ogre by ogre die painfully. He smirked and T-posed over the land, and started to film a vlog.

"What's up, guys? Ya boi Kim Jong-un is back with another video! Before we get started, make sure to smash the like button! If you're not already a part of the #kimmyfam, click the subscribe button and click the little bell to turn on notifications. Without further ado, let's get on with the video."

"In my last video, we made DIY crunchy slime by mixing internal organs, chopped up bones, and slime activator. This time, you can take a good look at how to get those ingredients. I can't hear anything because I'm wearing my Airpods, but you can probably hear shrieks of agony." Kim Jong-un turned the camera to show the attack of North Korea on Shrek's Swamp.

"That's right. I've finally conquered -" Kim Jong-un paused. He heard footsteps - which would be pretty normal because there were a LOT of footsteps of terrified inhabitants of the Swamp - but he had his Airpods on. What sort of powerful being would create footsteps so loud you can hear them through Airpods? 

He spun around and came face to face with the sexiest being he had ever encountered. Nobody even came close to the oozing manliness and sexy charms of this green being. "S- Shrek?" he stuttered, in awe of this superior being he had only ever seen in pictures.

Shrek smirked. "What are you doing in my swamp?"