Looking back at it, I do not miss it one bit. We had fun, we would always be gaming or spending some kind of time together. But she also used me for my money to get anything her heart desired, and me, being the caring loving guy I am, was always more than happy to serve her every whim.
Our parents even went through a dicorce around the same time, the biggest difference being my parents opted to stay together and her parents split. But time really does make fools of us all... 4 years of my life I spent with her and it all went down the drain when she went to a family party and got introduced to the guy that she dumped me for. I remember feeling like I knew it was ending, and I tried to hold on to her more than ever before, but as soon as I couldn't, and I do mean the first time I didn't give her what she wanted because I couldn't afford it, she left me for him.
Shoulda seen it coming though, all the while we were together she also had a long distance relationship with a guy in New York, and I was the physical replacement for him because they were too far apart.
In retrospect, all the signs were there that it wouldn't be a good life together, but I was just happy to have a girlfriend or even a friend after my bestie moved out of state.
Afterwards, I tried killing myself via impalement with a sword of mine.
But I couldn't, I felt the steel against my stomach, the blade pointing upwards against the floor, all i had to do was let go of my body weight and it would have been over, but as I felt it try to pierce my skin I couldn't go through with it. To be honest, it was the first time my guardians talked me down from suicide and wouldn't be the last.
Rewind a year to where I started the job I still have currently and I met the best friend I didn't even know I wanted or needed. He was training me and even took me out to pizza hut to get to know me, looking back at my past, my biggest regret is not being a better friend to him throughout our times together.
He more or less become my rock in the disorienting blackness of the deep sea of schizophrenia, depression, and anxiety. And i know if it wasn't for him always, and I legitimately mean always, being such an amazing person, I wouldn't be here writting this story for all you beautiful people.
