Hurt & Abused

Chapter 7: You've got Me

"Oh my gosh!!! Shelby, why didn't you tell me you were going through all of this before?!?" Tanya asked with eyes so wide in surprise, I was sure they were going to pop out of their sockets at any minute. We were in the employee bathroom located at the back of the club. She had already cleaned the wounds on my wrists and right now I'm in the middle of telling her what's been going on with my dad the last 18 years. She had taken off my concealor and was in the middle of cleaning my face wounds now too.

"I was scared, REALLY scared. And I was embarrassed ... I didn't know who to go to. So I never told anyone ... I'm sorry." I said as I put my head down for what felt like the hundredth time today. Seemed like putting my head down and being ashamed of myself is all I've ever beem able to do lately, but today was even worst.

"Hey hey hey, don't do that. Don't worry okay. I'm here for you and you know that. Look, I'm sorry to ask. But I have to know. How long has this been going on?" The question came out as quiet as a whisper, almost as if she was scared to ask it.

I felt the lump in my throat forming and the tears welling up in my eyes again. The more I thought about what's been happening, the more the feeling of crying came to mind. But I couldn't do it here, I REFUSED to do it here. After swallowing the lump, and closing my eyes, locking the tears and blocking them from coming out, I responded. "Since mom died."

Closing her eyes, Tanya let out the longest sigh in history. She asked if there was anything she could do or if there was any place to go. If I had any strength to be sarcastic, I would have scoffed. But the reality, I don't. I don't have strength, family, or anywhere to go. I don't have anything.

After too long of a silence, my dear friend took it as all the response she needed. Raising my head with her hand, she quietly and very carefully, wrapped her arms around me in a hug that I've never needed more than I did right in that moment.

There, in the silence of the employee bathroom. With ointment and bandaids all over my face, I cried. For thr first time in a long time, I cried about everything I've ever been through. I told her about the abuse, rape, my self harm, and how the man I live-d with just threw out. I had no idea how much pain I had been carrying til this very moment.

"I have nothing Tanya, NOTHING!! No one c-cares, nobody's been th-there!!! I don't even know where I'm gonna go!!!" I sobbed my heart out.

"Now you know that's not true girl. You've got ME. I'm here for you Shelby, I care. I'm going to help you. Don't worry. You've got me. Now let's get you out of here and into some clean clothes."

She kept whispering those 3 words that meant more to me than anything else. And with that, we got up and left the bathroom to find something better to wear.