Him and I are anything but a dream

5- I dont believe in false hope

Present time

I race down the stairs making sure that i don't trip and swung the door open. He stands so strong and tall. He looks amazing. He looks at me in awe and for what seemed to be a lifetime. I take his hand and lead him to my kitchen, i looked at the clock. It was 4:37, i don't even feel tired. He sat down on one of the bar stools and i went to grab some wipes and a bottle of vodka. Standing in front of him inches from his lips, i pass him the vodka and grab the wipes. I concentrate on cleaning his cuts and bruises making sure they don't get infected, i could tell he didn't normally do this because he flinched every time i touched him. Silence. There was nothing but silence, and the ticking clock in the background, in the room. I turned away to put the wipes in the bin and as i look back i can see him staring at me with what looked like want in his eyes. Now with only centimetres between us i put my hands behind his neck and just under his cheekbone near his jaw i start to rub his face with my thumbs. His hands snaked round the back of me just above the top of my ass. We stand there for what felt like years before we finally lent in towards each other. We move in time and so gracefully there was no lust there was just, love? Was this love? I couldn't tell but all i was thinking about was him and how he moved. He moved his hands down to cup my ass but as he did this it sent shivers down my spine making me breathe out slow but heavily. Hesitant, i parted our lips and looked at him he wanted more i could tell, but now there wasn't just want in his eyes, there was pain.
I step back, still remaining reasonably close, and interlock our fingers, looking deep into his eyes i could almost feel his pain. There was more silence before i finally spoke,
"James, what happened, and don't just say you're fine and that nothing happened because i can tell something is going on." i look for the response but all i get is a sigh followed by a few tears. I pull him into a hug and he breaks down. He just, crumbled. I let him cry on me for a while before taking him to the front room and lying him down. I've never seen him like this before, vulnerable that is. He's always the one to act all tough guy and get in fights and not back down, even if he was going to lose, which he almost never did. He looked up at me with a weak smile and proceeded to go to sleep, leaning against me. For a few moments a forgot all time and space and then i hear a voice behind me making me jump out of my skin. Sarah. Saz stood there silent as i got up and explained what had happened since he called me, adding how i didn't know what had happened before he got here, i told her not to tell the other girls because i didn't want him the be made a spectacle of. She agreed and wished me and j the best as she returned back upstairs not saying another word. I sat down without a noise and started playing with his hair, reassuring him i hadn't left. I wasn't going to leave, not now, not ever.