Him and I are anything but a dream

6- Why does this always happen to me

James' perspective- June 2018

Today was just a normal day, i woke up like normal. I checked my phone as normal. I showered like normal. Everything was normal. Until it wasn't. After my shower i dried off and got dressed, i actually had to go to college today unfortunately. I would usually bunk off but i had one goal today, see brooklyn. Since her break up with nate, she had started to become not herself, acting out, ditching lessons and smoking and drinking excessive amounts. I know i shouldn't but i had started to develop feelings for her and i had no idea why or how. We were never at college together, we weren't even doing the same course, even though i would love to do the art course that she does. I regret not taking it to be honest, art is, to put it lightly, my passion in life. I love art probably more than i love weed, and i fucking love weed.
Brooke was stunning, her blonde hair and piercing blue eyes that shone like stars, her freckles and lips were amazing. Every time i saw her i couldn't help but stare at her making sure i looked away every now and again though. I wish i could look at her all day, her presence just made me happy. In every moment i got i would snap a picture of her and draw her in the most beautiful way i could, but it wasn't enough. She was never going to be mine. I hated this feeling of rejection and all i wanted was to hold her in my arms. I never wanted to get in the way of their relationship but now that was over I could tell brook how I really felt. It didn't help that I had girls constantly around me. I didn't want that, I wanted brook. I knew she wouldn't want anyone talking to her in that way for a while since her breakup was so recent. But I wanted to be there for her. I wanted to help. I wanted to be her one because I believe she could be mine. Saying this all out loud sounds insane because I've never fully talked to her but I can feel something, I don't know what but I'm sure there's something. I just had to find a reason to talk to her.

Getting to college wasn't that bad since I could drive. I'd often sit in the car and play all kinds of music to get me in a good mood before I had to put up with the assholes in my course, Nate being one of them. It sucked being in that class since I'd hear everything that nate said he did right with brook, it just proved she was happy with him. But the day finally came when she realised how much of a fucktard he is. When they broke up I was  ecstatic but I couldn't show it, I also knew brook was going to be distraught for a while. I hate seeing her so down.

I pull up at college and hand over my parking permit to the guy at reception, making sure they knew I was here. My earphones were in and music was blasting out-bury a friend by billie eilish. I loved her music, it was just so fascinating. I walk into my class and keep my head down while I sat at the back, only answering my name in the register. I sat in silence completing the coursework that was due. I was, oddly enough, the top of the class. I finished in record time and handed it in getting full marks, feeling proud of myself. I walked slowly back to my seat, turning down my music as I pass Nate. He said something about a party and with it being only 30 minutes from here. I think I was going to that because the owners sons and I were best friends. I got invited to everything. It was the best, and I could get add ons if I wanted too. Perfect way to take brook on a date. I listen back into his conversation,
"I'm going to get so wasted that I can't stand up, brook is going to be there and I ain't about to deal with that semi-sober. I'm going full out lads who's with me." There was a small cheer and then Charlie spoke up,
"I'm not going to get that drunk but a wanna get find Saz." He looked down at the floor in defeat.
"Chaz mate, you ain't still hung up on her are you? It's been almost a year you ain't getting her back now." Nate said surprisingly genuine. He looked at chaz and spoke quietly but just loud enough that I could hear,
"I'm sorry bro, you have to let her go" all I could think was that I felt sorry for Charlie. But then again he hit saz and she's Brooks best mate so I didn't feel that bad about it. That's a low blow though. You can tell he's still hung up on her. I mean she is gorgeous I get why he would be, plus she had turned him into a little softie, this was for the better though. He was a dick before.