Him and I are anything but a dream

3- Actions speak 1000 words

Present time
July 2018

Luckily i didn't need to see nate for a month and a bit because it was summer. We didnt live anywhere near each other as well, so that would make it easier. Everyone is texting me to check to see if i'm okay. IM FINE OKAY? I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP FFS. i don't need to be reminded of my shit situation. Nate is a prick. Just to think i thought i could have spent the rest of my life with that asshole. Disgusting.

My mum is going away with my dad for pretty much the entire summer, they leave in a few days. I can't wait. I'm hopefully going to throw a massive party to celebrate me being single and open for anyone new. I wish i had that mentality, this party is actually just a distraction for my brain to stop thinking about it. I love my mum, and she gives me freedom to do stuff, but not everything i want to do. If she found out i had broken up with nate, she'd flip her nut. She always told me he was too good for me, rude i know, maybe she was right though. My dads pretty cool too i guess. He is the manager at the local wetherspoons, so lets me go in there for a pint or 2 for free as a 'discount'. He had the highest paying job in the whole business of wetherspoons which enabled us to do most of the things we wanted, and if i was tight on my own cash he would get me to work weekends so it doesn't clash with college. He doesn't care about all the alcohol i drink, as long as i dont cause havoc i'm fine. Now my brother is completely different from me but we understood each other like no one ever could-or so i thought. We'd tell each other everything, whenever, wherever, whatever. The conversations we would have were so long and so detailed in every aspect that we could talk for hours on end without realising the time. We once talked so much that we started talking at 11pm and only stopped because it was time for me to get ready for college the next morning. My younger sister is an annoying rat but i love her to pieces.

This party was going to be the biggest one i've ever thrown, and i'm not sure how i feel about that. I love parties but they can get real bad real quick. For example, when i was with nate we came across a house party and it was getting bigger and bigger by the minute, it ended with someone breaking all the mirrors in the house and shouting that someone was after him-he had to be taken to hospital because he was on lsd and cocaine at the time, he's lucky to be alive to be fair. But there wouldn't be anything like that at my party. It was going to be strictly alcohol and weed, doesn't sound as fun as a party with everything there, but i don't really want or need the stress of someone overdosing or being taken to hospital. I wanted people to have fun and chill out. The party was a way of hiding my real emotions from my friends, i don't want them worrying about me, i'm fine. I think.