I Think I Love You [boyxboy]

Chapter Three

Raven: 

Kyle clearly felt bad about letting me go home and take a kicking. 

He didn't meet me on the way to school and didn't even come and sit with me or talk to me at breaktime. Or lunch. He hung out with his other friends. They didn't think much of me and I thought less of them. So I was by myself for most of the day. Not that that bothered me, of course. It just would've been nice to get an apology, is all. 

He caught up with me at the end of the day. I was walking in the pissing rain because Dad refused to give me any money for the bus. He started walking with me about halfway into town. "Hi," he said. 

"Mm," I mumbled, not really listening to him. 

"You want a cig?" he asked. I sighed heavily. He obviously took that as a no and put his cigarettes away. There was a heavy silence, then he spoke again. "You okay?" 

"No, Kyle, as it happens, I'm not," I said. "He was fucking pissed off with me yesterday - he didn't even let me go to bed last night, you know? I'm so fucking exhausted - I got an hour in in Maths, but still, it's not enough is it?" 

"I'm sorry, Rae," he sighed. 

"Fuck off, Kyle, you're not sorry," I said. "You never are."

"I am," he said, not sounding convincing. "I'll make it up to you - there's a party tonight at Julianna Keifer's house. I'm going, you should tag along." 

"No thanks - I'm going to Kev's tonight," I said. 

"I thought you said he had family over until Thursday?" he wrinkled his nose. 

"I did," I nodded. "They left early." 

 "Oh," Kyle swallowed. I started to walk faster and he hurried to catch up with me. "Come on, Rae, stop being such a dick."

"I am a dick," I said. "You should know that by now, Kyle." 

"Well... yeah, but it's not your fault," he said. 

"I thought it was," I sniffed, haughtily. "Crime and punishmnet and that? Got to face the music, haven't I?" 

"Oh, Rae, I didn't mean that," he said. "I just said it because..." 

"Because you didn't want to help me," I swallowed. "You never do." 

"I'm sorry," he said, pathetically. 

"Mm. Well, I'm going to Kev's now. See you around, yeah?"

***

I got to Kevin's flat, and I was soaking wet.  

 He smiled at me. "Hi, Rae," he said. "You wanna come in?" 

"If it's okay," I said, smiling at him. I hadn't exactly asked Kev if I could stay tonight, but I hoped he wouldn't mind. "You alright?" I followed him into the flat. 

"Yeah," he said. He looked me up and down. I caught a glimpse of myself in the living room mirror. I was pale and looked cold and I was soaking wet. He peered at me. "You could've called me, you know, Rae. I'd have picked you up." 

"Didn't think of that," I admitted. "Can I have a shower? Please?" 

"Of course you can, sweetheart," he said. 

"You coming with?" I asked. 

"I just had one before you left," he said. "Is that alright?" 

"Of course it is, silly," I said. I made my way through to the bathroom and cleaned myself up. 

I just wore a towel back into the living room. Kev winced a little at my bruises, but he knew how much asking about them upset me and didn't even try. "Um. Did I leave some clothes here last time?" I asked. 

"I don't know," he frowned. "Have a look in the wardrobe. If you didn't, you can borrow something." 

"Thanks," I grinned. It turned out, I had in fact left a pair of pyjama bottoms and a tee-shirt. I pulled one of Kev's hoodies over the top too. He was a fair bit taller than me, and athletically built compared to me near-skeletal frame. His hoodie was big and baggy and comfy on me. He smiled when he saw me wearing it it. 

"You hungry, babe? I'll make you something to eat," he said. 

"I'm okay, thanks," I lied - I was hungry, but I never really ate much, even when I was. Dad wasn't keen on me eating a lot, and I guess it was just deeply programmed that I shouldn't. 

Kev knew all this, and placed a peanut butter sandwhich in front of me anyway. I just looked at it and Kev gave me a stern look. "Raven Blackwood, you eat that sandwhich now," he said. Then he dived onto the sofa beside me. "Or I'll tickle you to death."

"Kev!" I giggled, squirming away. "Keven! Stop it, please! Stop it! I'll eat the fuck-damned sandwhich, just stop tickling me! Ow!" 

Kev had managed to dig his fingers right into a fresh bruise on my ribs. I shut my eyes to stop the tears leaking out. He swallowed. "Fuck, Rae, did I hurt you?" he said. 

"A little," I whispered. 

"Sorry, baby," he nuzzled my neck. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." 

"I know," I put my arms around him. "It wasn't you - it was just... just a new bruise, that's all." 

"Oh, darling," he snuffled. "I wish you'd let me do something." 

"There's nothing you can do," I shrugged. I was sixteen very soon and I really sort of hoped Kev would ask me to move in with him. But I didn't particularly think he would - we weren't boyfriends. Just friends with benefits. Kev was gorgeous, he could pull anyone he wanted. He often did. Several times I went to his flat in search of a place to spend the night, only to find his bed occupied by some other guy. Those nights, I slept on the bench in the park or under the bridge, down by the river. I didn't particularly mind that in the summer, but in the winter it was pure torture. I swallowed. "I- I can stay here tonight, can't I?" 

"Um," Kev mumbled.

"Is that a no?" I said, feeling my heart drop.

"Well... I'm meant to be going out - it's Jonny's 21st, see," he said.

"You could leave me here by myself," I suggested - he'd done that a few times before, and I really didn't mind. I was sort of used to being alone.

"I don't like letting you be on your own," he said. "I don't like the thought of you being lonely."

"I wouldn't be lonely," I told him. I studied his face carefully. Then I sighed. "You're planning on bringing someone home, aren't you?"

"Well. Maybe," he said.

"Can't I kip on the sofa? Then, if you don't pull, I'm here for that  too," I suggested.

"Raven..." he groaned.

"Please Kev," I begged. "I really don't want to go home tonight."

"Well..." he swallowed. "Fuck, Rae. I... okay, you can stay. You should tag along to the party, actually - it might be nice to turn up with someone on my arm for a change."

 "Thanks," I smiled at him. I knew he probably didn't really want me to be there - but anything was better than being at home. 

Anything.