repercussions ✓

XXIII. THE ONLY REASON

trigger warning

MATT STARES AT THE CARPET as Luke busies himself with trying to work Michael's coffee machine in the kitchen, with a bit of muttering under his breath and glaring. It's far too homely for what Matt knows is coming next - 'leave Ash alone, stop contacting him', et cetera, et cetera.

It's not, though. Luke just sits down with his coffee and places Matt's on the central table, before sighing and making eye contact.

"I-I'm sorry that I was sort of on Ash's account to get your attention. It was just sort of the easiest way for me to ensure you would actually reply." He starts, and Matt instantly nods. He feels like he's being punished by his parents or a teacher or something.

"It's fine." Matt hates how passive-aggressive he sounds, but shrugs it off as just being tense. Luke seems to watch him extremely closely, trying to distinguish anything that could lead to a solution to this problem.

After a few minutes, Luke sits up again, and types something into his phone. It makes Matt think distinctly of a therapist's meeting; he wouldn't put it past the other boy to be actually keeping notes for this. He knows for a fact that Luke is extremely close to Ashton, and vice versa, and therefore, they'd do anything to protect each other.

"Just telling Mikey to not flip out if you're still here when he gets back from being in town." He says quietly, before making eye contact with Matt again. "Because I-I... We can't leave this any longer, Matt. You should have seen him last night. He looked so broken."

Matt just nods, looking up as Luke swallows back tears, trying to compose himself. "What... What do you want me to do?"

"I-I don't know, Matt. I know Ash wants to still be friends with you, but I also know that he still has feelings for you, he does still like you, but he's so scared at the moment." Luke explains, staring out of the window directly across from him. He's so distant, not like what Matt has ever seen before.

"Of what?"

"Just... hurting people and... he saw what happened to me back in 2017, when my ex-girlfriend broke up with me - well, you know how that went - and I know he said that he never wanted to cause that to happen to anyone he loved. And touring was starting to get a lot for him, and I... really didn't want to tell you this."

Matt is instantly on edge, his heart rate speeding up dramatically. "Luke... Luke, you're making me scared now."

"On the night he broke up with you, Ash completely fell apart. He was in the bathroom, the door was locked..."

Luke stops for a second, staring at the blank TV screen as he tries to find the words.

"Hell, me and Michael were just in our hotel room, watching hockey. Calum went through to say hello to Ash, see what he was doing, and the door was closed and he was leaning against it on the other side and-and Cal said he could smell blood. He was doing so well, and he tried to kill himself, and now you're just making it worse. For all of us."